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Feeling Guilt for autistic accommodations.

Roy

Just something that’s rattling around in my head at the moment. Does anyone else feel they are saying sorry all the time for wanting autistic needs to be taken seriously, if not actually saying sorry, feeling guilt when needing something to be altered slightly?

Common examples are  when something is supposed to finish at a certain time and then continues, food alterations or needing time alone.

It’s something I’m aware of all the time, a guilt and balancing act of “am I making this all about me and autism, am I being too needy, do others think I’m making it all about me?”

I find I’m often saying nothing and trying to battle on, this l then leads to a worse situation. It can lead to comments like, “you’ve gone quiet.”

Parents

  • Yep. I think for me it's a definate need to advocate for myself and not just let everything pass. But I am a Christian too, so I think it important not to always think of my own needs and to take into account the needs of others. So it's actually a balancing act - like there's this sweet old man at my parish who always rants on about things I haven't the slightest interest in and it makes me annoyed (they are really negative things which make me feel defensive as if I'm being told off) so when I can't avoid these things, I stay quiet. The other day it came ot my mind that he's an old man and to just let him ramble and so I prayed while he talked and it was much better. Now I often do this, pray for him whilst he's annoying me. Strangely enough, I'm not annoyed anymore. But saying that, when I can, I avoid an interaction. I'm just saying sometimes you can work around it and sometimes not. It's a choice. Right now I'm trying to get a medical appointment and trying to push the right ammount but also bear in mind that they are busy and there's just been a doctor strike so.... trying to practice patience. 

  • in reply to DaughteroftheKing

    Practising patience for patients. I wish I had more of these skills, I went to a Christian school and the values have definitely stayed with me. Church at the end of every school term and the little biscuit style bread always threw me because I thought “that’s not bread” and why is that kid drinking wine. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    If it was a Catholic church, it wasn't wine they were drinking, nor a biscuit (called a host) it was the body,blood, soul and divinity of Jesus. 

    Bread has a wider definition than you imagine - it is in the western church unleavened bread (in the east they use leaven bread so more like what you'd think is bread). The bread is like that - compact - so the particles are less likely to fall apart, so a stronger binding, no yeast and finer flour - but definitely bread. 

    It's good the values have stayed with you. As for patience, it's like all things, practice makes perfect. Also you are unable to practice patience (a fruit of the Holy Spirit) without God helping you, so ask for help. 

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  • in reply to Autismman

    If it was a Catholic church, it wasn't wine they were drinking, nor a biscuit (called a host) it was the body,blood, soul and divinity of Jesus. 

    Bread has a wider definition than you imagine - it is in the western church unleavened bread (in the east they use leaven bread so more like what you'd think is bread). The bread is like that - compact - so the particles are less likely to fall apart, so a stronger binding, no yeast and finer flour - but definitely bread. 

    It's good the values have stayed with you. As for patience, it's like all things, practice makes perfect. Also you are unable to practice patience (a fruit of the Holy Spirit) without God helping you, so ask for help. 

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