friendship

There are some technology-based options that can help with this.

One example of this, if you're both using Apple devices, is their "Find My" feature. It includes "Precision Finding", which can help you to locate her even among a big crowd. If you have a compatible iPhone but your friend doesn't, then you could lend her an AirTag and track her using that.

Apple - Find My (scroll down to Find your friends)

Apple - Find your keys, rucksack and more with AirTag and Find My

You can share locations in Google Maps, Snapchat and WhatsApp, too. Also, the satnav on a phone works perfectly well when you're on foot (outdoors).

But, your friend is an adult, so let her sort all that out for herself. It is not your responsibility.

Damojo said:

your friend is an adult, so let her sort all that out for herself. It is not your responsibility.

A big benefit of lending Volvox 's visitor an AirTag would be avoiding putting them to any inconvenience or making them feel unduly awkward. Nor do they need to have any technical knowledge or capability.

All they'd need to do is pop it into their bag or pocket - and ideally remember to return it before they head home to the other end of the country. Even then, it could easily be posted back if taken home accidentally.

Volvox said:

Damo, thank you so much again for suggesting PDA.

You're very welcome. Glad to help.

You'll find more on PDA here on NAS, at Reframing Autism and lots of other places. It doesn't mean you friend has this profile, but it might give you a better sense of how different minds might work.

There's also a useful guide to being an autistic ally on that RA site. There's a lot of reading, but you seem like you care a lot for your friend and want the best for her, so maybe give it a go.

Damo, thank you so much again for suggesting PDA. That could be why she ignores my instructions not to wander off. It makes enormous sense.

I hadn't heard of PDA and had to look it up, and actually it does make sense. I can build that into my arsenal of coping-with-friend techniques. All the rest of the traits you mention: yes, she has those but definitely not ADHD. 

Unfortunately even when her challenging behaviour isn't her fault and I accept that, it doesn't stop me getting hugely stressed… it's just the way I am 

I hadn't heard of PDA and had to look it up, and actually it does make sense. I can build that into my arsenal of coping-with-friend techniques. All the rest of the traits you mention: yes, she has those but definitely not ADHD. 

Unfortunately even when her challenging behaviour isn't her fault and I accept that, it doesn't stop me getting hugely stressed… it's just the way I am