Any advice on how to feel confident going outside when you have social anxiety.

thank you for the advice, will try and get into a routine, and hopefully I will build up my confidence 

thank you for the advice, that's really helpful I will keep that in mind 

thank you for the advice ,when its sunny I do find that sunglasses can help with eye contact. will try the earphones 

thank you for the tips, that's really helpful 

thank you I will try and focus on the my goal

I would try going out later in the day when there’s less of the hustle and bustle. Plan the route ahead of time perhaps so you are feeling in control before you leave and make out to yourself it’s a short mission and won’t take long so you’ll be home before you know it. Do this slowly over time and perhaps go a little further each time till you are more comfortable with the surroundings and environment, building up the confidence daily.

To be honest I think most people won't even notice, they're wrapped up in their own lives to care about anyone else.

It's not easy but it comes down to caring less about what other (nt) people think about you. That takes self acceptance and time. There is no rule (other than the unspoken neuro typical code which we all struggle with) that says you have to make eye contact. I will do it a little bit but it isn't long until the discomfort and the cost of not being able to concentrate on what I or the other person is saying becomes too great, so I will stop. Maybe the other person will think I'm odd but although I am fairly new on this journey of discovery about my autism, I am learning, slowly, to accept that that's OK and I don't owe it to anyone to act neuro typical around them to make them feel comfortable.

I also have days when I am burnt out and I can't face dealing with anyone else at all, like you describe. As far as I am able I will then allow myself to hide away a bit more until I am feeling better.

All the best, and be kind to yourself.

thank you for the recommendations, I will have a look. I've got some earphones that I will try out when i will go for a walk, to see if that's what I need to help me feel less stressed,  just need to work out what works and what doesn't.

I didn't even know I was sensitive to noise until I started to wear noise-cancelling earbuds. They were a revelation. I can do my grocery shopping now and arrive at the checkout feeling (almost) relaxed and much better able to cope with those people who put their stuff on the conveyor before I've finished emptying my trolley!

I only tried the earbuds because "that's what autistic people do" and I was willing to try something new. I didn't expect the results to be so good. I wear them all the time now when I'm in noisy environments and I feel much less stressed.

(Mine are Anker P40i, which are reasonably discrete, won't break the bank and work well. Over-ear headphones would probably be a bit more effective, but they are a lot bigger and harder to slip in a pocket.)

Hello!

I wear sunglasses pretty much all the time! This helps me with the awkwardness of eye contact and my light sensitivity. 

It's awful feeling burnout, but remind yourself how well you've done going out. It can be exhausting, but allow yourself time to rest and reset before doing anything else. 

Headphones are definitely a bonus. Either listening to something, or just having them on to dampen the sounds down, really helps. 

Hi, thank you for the advice I might try wearing headphones, that could help. 

pinkfloyd88 said:

every time I walk pass someone my eye contact goes straight to the ground

Welcome! If you are looking for fellow awkward people with social anxiety, you've come to the right place. I hope you'll feel at home.

Tip 1: Don't worry about eye contact. You are not obliged to make eye contact with people. You have your own unique way of making it. Just because some people find it easy or natural, doesn't mean that we all do. If eye contact feels uncomfortable, don't make it and don't criticise yourself for not making it (ignore your inner ableist). Your way is different, not wrong.

Tip 2: Try what every Autistic person seems to recommend: scripts! It's easier to talk to people (e.g., in shops, restaurants, GP surgeries, phone calls, etc.) if you know what you want to say ahead of time (and take a few deep breaths). Just having an opening line or two prepared in advance can take the edge off the anxiety.

Hello,

I tend to go out early, 6.30am to go food shopping so avoid the crowds. I also wear ear defenders in the store along with my sunflower lanyard. I also have some great autism T shirts to wear which help as they are amusing. I do find London an easy place to navigate as there is always a quiet spot I can find to escape.   

Hello and welcome.

A few things about going out on my own (personal to me):

I try to keep my thoughts focused upon my goal (the reason) for my going out.  Maybe an errand, maybe something different.

I try to remind myself that I am "awarding" myself credit for simply showing up.  Need a bottle of milk, showed up at the shop, bought the milk, returned home, enjoyed some of the milk in my coffee.

It can help me to tell myself that my agenda / itinerary for the trip out is mine and I can vary it if necessary.

If I have something unpleasant / challenging to do out and about, I try to put something in front of the task to allow me to regroup after the journey (before) the task, plus something I might enjoy doing (library or bookshop visit etc.) to help demarcate (after) the task - before I undertake the journey home.

I tend to find it easier to go out on my own than with someone else too (I cannot easily manage their energy, issues, decision-making demands and input too - particularly if I am stressed, or have low energy during the outing).