Just Diagnosed

I could never understand why I got so tired, I used to drive coaches in a past life, the afternoons were hell, 50 school children all talking at once, it was a sensory nightmare. I would bite the inside of my mouth to try and stay awake. Thankfully I now work alone.

I work from home mainly - and I find that pretty draining - so I can get on with head down work 5-6 hours a day with a couple of hours of online calls/messaging and emails.  I have to still take time out (non productive) at the end of the each day and the weekend is pretty much a 2 day recovery to be ready to face the next week.

So I do feel for you regarding working with people all day long - whether there's any adjustments you can make to your working environment that lessen the wear on you each day, they may be worth looking into.

We all have different sensory profiles, but there's other things at play to on the social and communication front. 

I looked into Monotropism last weekend, and I can very much relate into that with my concentration at work, and have informally made adjustments at work recently - that gives me "do not disturb" periods actually more like "only message me if urgent" with my manager  - and we write on a shared online-board what we want the other to do or speak to them about (this means I'm mentally prepared for what will be raised in advance) next time we have a catch-up/check-in which is usually daily (at no fixed time) .  We've only recently implemented this last one and I think it's working great

I feel everything is Work In Progress (WIP) we discover ourselves in time and find out what we like/dislike and come up with our our path/solutions.  I feel this is my approach anyways.

llanharry1701 said:

I don't have any current friendships, despite trying hard.

Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for us to feel lonely or isolated. I’ve been working on the same issue myself.

You might find some of the advice in these articles helpful:

NAS - Loneliness - includes links to other examples of autistic people's experiences of loneliness and how they cope.

NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

You might like to consider asking your GP to refer you to your local social prescriber (I've just finished a course with ours). 

Their role is to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your social needs, as well as your practical and emotional needs. This could include, for example, helping you to find local groups or socialising activities. The article below explains more (it relates to England, but the same model operates throughout the UK):

NHS England - Social prescribing

You might also be able to find some socialising opportunities via the the NAS's directory, or through a local NAS branch:

NAS - Autism Services Directory

NAS - Branches

You could search on Facebook and/or Google for any local groups that might fit with your interests and hobbies.

llanharry1701 said:

I get very tired at the end of my work day after spending all day with people.

You might find the strategies suggested in this NAS resources helpful:

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

There's also some great (free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author (who's also a clinician and advocate):

Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

I also have this new book of hers. It covers the subject in much greater detail, whilst remaining very user-friendly (including lots of diagrams and worksheets, for example):

The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan

llanharry1701 said:

I get very tired at the end of my work day after spending all day with people. I don't feel like I have many sensory problems

Can relate to both for sure. Trying to keep it together with people all around you that you’d rather not be around certainly takes it out of you, I’d sometimes only do a 6 hour shift and have to come home for a nap or sometimes it would take me several hours to switch over mentally from work to home mode. Also with the sensory problems that can include people, how they maybe speak when you’d rather silence, their energy levels may be almost hyperactive compared to yours, they may also move around a lot too which I know played havoc with my senses. 

Thank You

Thank You

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

There are plenty of other late-diagnosed people here too, so you’re in good company.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis" - including one covering how you might feel during the coming days / weeks / months - which you might find helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book. It discusses various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Immediately following my diagnosis, this book also taught me some important principles and enabled me to make some helpful changes - perhaps you might find it helpful, too:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

Welcome and thank you for sharing your news with us here. 

There is no "right" or "wrong" way for you to feel about such news - particularly when it is still fresh information for you to consider.

No need to feel the odd one out here, as many of our community will identify with your news.

It can be a good idea to remind yourself of a few things such as:

- rest does not need to be earned (it is not laziness as it is an important part of being fit to be productive),

- the importance of making time to do things you find absorbing and enjoyable,

- you are in charge of with whom you select to share your news,

- there is no rush or competition as you absorb your news (pace yourself).