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I hate being autistic

Kvothe

I hate being autistic..

Being a level 2 autistic it sucks knowing you are different and the world will never accept you. If i could get a lobotomy i would. It sucks knowing that you are this way but cannot change it.

Add to that the pressure from society that has turned against disabled people and its just unbearable. Just something simple like human interaction and relationships are so much harder when autistic. I am in my 40s now and worry about pensions, being alone (though being with someone intimately terrifies me) I dont get social cues from people and the opposite sex.

I have been thinking recently that the assisted dying bill is a good thing and that it should be expanded to those with conditions that cant be changed and cause unnecessary pain and suffering.

I have more to write i am sure but my autistic brain has done its thing and given me a mind blank so cant think straight..

Anyone else hate autism?

Parents

  • I’m sorry that you feel this way. As our autistic traits are a part of who we are consequently to hate your autism is a form of self hatred - and self hatred is something that can only lead to more unhappiness and problems in your life. 
    When our autistic traits are making life feel so hard and exhausting it’s not surprising that we can start feeling the way you do at the moment. However with time and effort we can work at improving our state of mind and our attitudes to ourselves and the way our autistic traits shape our lives. This really is possible. The fact that you are considering it better to die clearly points to clinical depression - and depression can be treated with things like CBT and mindfulness. There really is hope - so don’t give up on life. Things really can change for the better. 

Reply

  • I’m sorry that you feel this way. As our autistic traits are a part of who we are consequently to hate your autism is a form of self hatred - and self hatred is something that can only lead to more unhappiness and problems in your life. 
    When our autistic traits are making life feel so hard and exhausting it’s not surprising that we can start feeling the way you do at the moment. However with time and effort we can work at improving our state of mind and our attitudes to ourselves and the way our autistic traits shape our lives. This really is possible. The fact that you are considering it better to die clearly points to clinical depression - and depression can be treated with things like CBT and mindfulness. There really is hope - so don’t give up on life. Things really can change for the better. 

Children
  • in reply to Kate Kestrel

    CBT did not work for me i had it numerous times and its the only available therapy in my area, mindfulness helps a little.

    The autism has ruined my life from day one, the problem i had in the 90s was it wasnt diagnosed so i kept having meltdowns and got no help. 

    I just wish i was normal so i can get my life in order before its too late..  

    not understanding human connection and normal humans is the worst i just dont get how they interact on a basic level and intimately