Delayed

I think Iain is right and has offered some good advice on this. I’ll be taking this on board as well as what you’re going through is something I struggle with too. I’m a people pleaser and without thinking I always say yes, even if I don’t want to do something. I’ve always been like this and it really burns me out and leads to uncomfortable situations.

Afterwards I’m left thinking I should have said no or told them why I didn’t want to do this. One example is my sister asks me to attend her coffee mornings and I say yes but that involves a busy coffee shop, lots of people, and interacting. I always feel burned out for the rest of the day and hate on myself that I didn’t say no.

Delayed thinking and processing is a pain and something I’m always trying to improve on but never seem to be able to do. You’re not alone in being like this.

 Iain thanks for sharing your experiences and advice. This will be helpful to me too.

Yes, but the problem remains, that I actually have to be cautious constantly to remember to react properly. And it causes me high stress and anxiety. 

I agree with Iain  that a review of interactions is key, and even though I used to do that, I too have a similar problem to you. It is hard work trying to communicate with delayed thinking, and every scenario is different and an appropriate response isn’t always within my grasp.

I used to record scenarios in written form and and make up further scenarios, as I thought it could help build new brain connections and perhaps lead to quicker and more appropriate responses in the future. I haven’t done this for a long time now, apart from once last year, but it seemed to help my communication.

Now that I am retired, I have fewer occasions that need a good and timely response. But I still get annoyed with myself if I’ve jumped in too quickly and I haven’t responded in the way I wish I had, or somebody points out that I could have said something else, which makes me think I’ve said something inappropriate. 

I don’t know what else can be done. I wonder if a speech and language therapist works on that sort of thing, or perhaps some other therapist. 

I did a quick online search using ‘how to say no’ and ‘how to stall a request that needs a response’. Loads of possible responses came up, some more sensible that others, but they are too numerous to list here. The tips might give you some ideas to practise. 

Delayed processing is horrible and it is noted on my autism assessment diagnostic report of seven months ago. I wish I had been diagnosed when I had been employed as I would have considered letting my employers know of my needs. 

I agree with Iain  that a review of interactions is key, and even though I used to do that, I too have a similar problem to you. It is hard work trying to communicate with delayed thinking, and every scenario is different and an appropriate response isn’t always within my grasp.

I used to record scenarios in written form and and make up further scenarios, as I thought it could help build new brain connections and perhaps lead to quicker and more appropriate responses in the future. I haven’t done this for a long time now, apart from once last year, but it seemed to help my communication.

Now that I am retired, I have fewer occasions that need a good and timely response. But I still get annoyed with myself if I’ve jumped in too quickly and I haven’t responded in the way I wish I had, or somebody points out that I could have said something else, which makes me think I’ve said something inappropriate. 

I don’t know what else can be done. I wonder if a speech and language therapist works on that sort of thing, or perhaps some other therapist. 

I did a quick online search using ‘how to say no’ and ‘how to stall a request that needs a response’. Loads of possible responses came up, some more sensible that others, but they are too numerous to list here. The tips might give you some ideas to practise. 

Delayed processing is horrible and it is noted on my autism assessment diagnostic report of seven months ago. I wish I had been diagnosed when I had been employed as I would have considered letting my employers know of my needs.