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How did you all feel when you were first diagnosed?

Autismman

I’ve been recently diagnosed and have been thinking about it non stop ever since. I’m a 37 year old male and only really came to the conclusion I was probably autistic after I suddenly felt I couldn’t pretend to cope any longer and got quite unwell. I don’t want to feel like some imposter but I can’t help but feel like I wish I ticked all the boxes more accurately. I’ve come across this imposter syndrome as it’s referred to a lot online and it makes sense but I can’t just accept that as it is and move on…it doesn’t bring me much comfort. I was diagnosed with ASD level 1 so perhaps this diagnosis affects my ability to see things clearly anyway or as they are meant to be seen? I don’t know. Just wondering how others felt after they were diagnosed? Was it a huge weight off of the shoulders or did it only raise more questions? Any similar experiences would be great to hear.

  • I felt greatly relieved that my conviction that I was autistic had been clinically validated. As for imposter syndrome, try to avoid comparing yourself to other autistic people, whose traits are bound to diverge from your own. Instead, compare your traits and history with the necessary diagnostic criteria in the manuals. This is how autism is assessed, not by comparing people to each other. 

    You will always find autistic people whose autism is more debilitating than your own. Don't go down that rabbit hole.

  • Relief and validation. I felt the same when we got the diagnosis for my daughter as well.

  • It’s been roughly two years since I was diagnosed and I still don’t know what to feel about it to be honest. I’ve had a lot of difficult life events these last 3 years and I’m all over the place and find it hard to make sense of much at all recently. Confused certainly. I am certain though that it was a good thing to have the assessment and diagnosis - because as I get older I feel the impact of being autistic more and more. I need to understand myself and I need to have the diagnosis as a way to help other people to understand why I am the way I am - and that I can’t help the fact that I struggle with certain things. Right now though I just feel totally exhausted with everything. I try so very hard to function in this world but sometimes it leaves me totally shattered. 
    I don’t think I’m really answering your question! I’d say it’s a good thing to have the diagnosis. 

  • I was quite young at the time (11), but I vaguely remember feeling a great sense of relief and curiosity. I had an awful time in primary school, and the teachers (who were little better than the school bullies) said I was just a bad child and punished me almost constantly for stuff that's normal for a kid with Aspergers. High school was almost the opposite because of all the support and understanding I got. My diagnosis is one of the best things that ever happened to me.  

  • Relief and like a weight had been taken off me.

  • I was only diagnosed yesterday, so it’s all still quite surreal. One minute I’m happy and ten minutes later I’m near to crying. I still don’t quite believe I’m autistic.

    I don’t think I hate myself so much anymore, I’m not faulty or broken. I think we get told repeatedly that we need to try harder, we all have a certain amount of energy, sometimes we are using a lot of it to just survive. There often isn’t much left to do the other things that are expected of us, this for me is true in work and home life.

  • Validated and excused.

  • Utter confusion, followed by an overwhelming wave of relief. These two stages cycled over the next few months.

  • Grief for the life I might have had, followed by months of imposter syndrome and then finally acceptance 

  • Hello. If you've been diagnosed someone has independently concluded you have it. So you can't be an imposter.

    You had some issue , i.e. you couldn't cope. You don't have to not be able to cope all the time for it to be real.

    Being diagnosed does not solve anything, but it does give you a framework around which you can hopefully organise your life more effectively and reduce stress. I suppose it gives you the reassurance you were not going crazy.