Hello. I have autism and I’m feeling really anxious about my sisters funeral. I lost my sister a couple of weeks ago in a car accident and I am feeling so much anxiety about her funeral.
Has anyone here experienced a funeral? If you feel comfortable, could you tell me how you found it and how you were able to cope with it?
Both of my grandparents have passed away, during my early teens. My grandad went suddenly from a heart attack and my gran spent the last 2 months of her life in hospital, I did visit her twice a week when it possible to do so and I was able to talk to her about funerals and she said it was fine and she understood if I couldn’t make it to hers. Despite being in her 70s she was very understanding of my struggles with autism.
I didn’t go to hers or my grandads funerals. I wanted to. I really did, but I couldn’t bring myself to go. The thought of it sent me in to meltdowns and anxiety attacks.
My sisters accident was sudden, and I didn’t get the chance to talk to her in hospital like I did with my gran. My parents have both said, even my brother, that she would understand if I can’t go to the funeral. I’ve visited her in the hospital chapel and at the funeral home, that at least brought me some comfort seeing her more at peace than when I first saw her after the accident.
She looked really peaceful like she was asleep in the funeral home.
But I’m still unsure what to do about the funeral. I haven’t been to one before, the idea makes me so anxious, all the people, strange new place, the noises.
Or maybe it won’t be that bad, maybe I’m over thinking it.
But I don’t want to go and end up having a meltdown because it would so embarrassing, unpleasant and I don’t want to end up turning my sisters last moment about me.
I’m sorry to make my #1 post such a negative one but I’m really struggling with this and I would appreciate your thoughts on what’s best to do because I really don’t know.