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"You can't handle the TRUTH!": the fine art of lying

Gordon-not-Ramsay

I have been told I lie a lot. I think it's a lie, but I'm not certain. It all gets complicated in my head, especially when momma used to say, "if you tell the truth from the start, you don't get into trouble" (ie. you recognised it is wrong and you show remorse".

Lying is just a tool to spare people's feelings.

"Does my bum look big in this dress?"

"Yes, because you're bum is big. But thats ok because I like big butts and I cannot lie...!"

This NEVER goes down well!

To paraphrase a Paloma Faith album title "Do you want the truth or something beautiful?" The truth is usually something terrible. We use phrases like "the cold hard truth" and "if truth be told..." but very few times do people actually want the truth.

Autism and being truthful kinda go hand in hand, but masking allows you to play fast and loose with it, simply because it's a neurotypical thing to do.

Has anyone had any situations where truth and lies have been blurred, and did you end you carrying the guilt but not know why?

Thank you WinkThumbsup

  • I've often been accused of lying when I've definately not been, I've been told the "truth" by several people and it's really hard to hold on to the fact that I've not lied, I'm the one telling the truth, but other peopple around me seem to be prefer the lies of others, maybe it makes them more comfortable? Having ASC means I'm always a sort of scapegoat for tensions within any group I'm involved with, people see that I don't react the way that NT's do and its easy to think the worst of me.

    Then they wonder why I don't like groups and am extremely wary of getting involved with others. Am I paranoid or have I learned from experience that I'm an all to handy scapegoat?

  • in reply to profdanger

    I get you about the joke/lie thing! 

  • I have always been a perfectionist and overachiever, but turns out; those traits do not pair well with symptoms of shutdowns and possibly burnout. So shortly after transitioning schools, I found myself getting home after a long day of school and the loads of extracurricular activities and lacking the energy to do my homework. I stayed up all night, trying to get myself to even start, but was unable to do so at times. Out of shape and guilt, I proceeded to say things like “I forgot” or even some excuses when asked about it. My grades weren’t affected, hence nobody asked follow up questions. But I only felt more guilt, because I lied frequently about “forgetting”, when in reality I just didn’t do them even though I always wrote them down. 
    Later on, people stopped caring about whether I did them or not, but the guilt stayed.

  • in reply to profdanger

    Ex. When I was a music professor teaching history I would purposely lie that Claude Debussy’s last name was pronounced “DEE-bus-ee.”

    Some students would catch that it was just a joke, but most just thought I knew nothing about music history lol.

  • It is so obvious when I am lying to the people that know me. I’ve gotten to a point where 90% of my humor is just lying because normally my people are able to recognize I’m purposely lying.

    That makes it super awkward when I try to joke/lie around people that don’t know me well, though…