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"You can't handle the TRUTH!": the fine art of lying

Gordon-not-Ramsay

I have been told I lie a lot. I think it's a lie, but I'm not certain. It all gets complicated in my head, especially when momma used to say, "if you tell the truth from the start, you don't get into trouble" (ie. you recognised it is wrong and you show remorse".

Lying is just a tool to spare people's feelings.

"Does my bum look big in this dress?"

"Yes, because you're bum is big. But thats ok because I like big butts and I cannot lie...!"

This NEVER goes down well!

To paraphrase a Paloma Faith album title "Do you want the truth or something beautiful?" The truth is usually something terrible. We use phrases like "the cold hard truth" and "if truth be told..." but very few times do people actually want the truth.

Autism and being truthful kinda go hand in hand, but masking allows you to play fast and loose with it, simply because it's a neurotypical thing to do.

Has anyone had any situations where truth and lies have been blurred, and did you end you carrying the guilt but not know why?

Thank you WinkThumbsup

Parents

  • I have always been a perfectionist and overachiever, but turns out; those traits do not pair well with symptoms of shutdowns and possibly burnout. So shortly after transitioning schools, I found myself getting home after a long day of school and the loads of extracurricular activities and lacking the energy to do my homework. I stayed up all night, trying to get myself to even start, but was unable to do so at times. Out of shape and guilt, I proceeded to say things like “I forgot” or even some excuses when asked about it. My grades weren’t affected, hence nobody asked follow up questions. But I only felt more guilt, because I lied frequently about “forgetting”, when in reality I just didn’t do them even though I always wrote them down. 
    Later on, people stopped caring about whether I did them or not, but the guilt stayed.

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  • I have always been a perfectionist and overachiever, but turns out; those traits do not pair well with symptoms of shutdowns and possibly burnout. So shortly after transitioning schools, I found myself getting home after a long day of school and the loads of extracurricular activities and lacking the energy to do my homework. I stayed up all night, trying to get myself to even start, but was unable to do so at times. Out of shape and guilt, I proceeded to say things like “I forgot” or even some excuses when asked about it. My grades weren’t affected, hence nobody asked follow up questions. But I only felt more guilt, because I lied frequently about “forgetting”, when in reality I just didn’t do them even though I always wrote them down. 
    Later on, people stopped caring about whether I did them or not, but the guilt stayed.

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