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Changing my life

Deleted User

After another row with family earlier today, I realise I wasn't always grateful of their efforts, and the mentality I adopted was only upsetting and angering people.  So I decided to set aside my autistic identity and just be normal, commit to socially acceptable behaviour, go out more, be around people more and later get a menial job and start over from the bottom.  Even work on being nicer to people and earning their respect, trust and god willing their love.

And giving self help another try along with CBD to manage the pain.

  • You need to just embrace your normal autistic self and don't pretend to be something else. Trying to find a way to adapt can be tricky sometimes but it's possible as long as you find ways or places to recharge and chill out away from everyone when the Autism gets hard. I'm rude to people all the time but I try and do it in a joking way so I get away with it 

  • Now age 67 I have recently learned that I am autistic. Learning it has helped me to understand myself and why I lost every job I have ever had and have so few friends. I hope understanding myself, I can learn to be a better version of myself. But I am not going to try and pretend to be something I am not. 

  • This is a very interesting post. I have been going through a similar train of thought lately. I don't believe that setting aside my autistic identity would be a good thing, it has helped explain so much about myself that I previously didn't understand and allowed me to be kinder to myself. However, I feel that I have allowed it to completely define me to the point where I give up too easily or don't attempt things I could actually do if I stuck at them. When something becomes very hard and challenging I have walked away with the mindset of "I'm autistic, I can't do that". It has almost morphed from an explanation to an excuse if that makes sense. 

    I am now trying to start from scratch, sticking at a job I hate rather than quitting while I attempt to retrain into a career I might actually enjoy. 
    I have tried to stop blaming society for my situation in life and, with prayer and consideration, began to think how I can best improve my own situation. 
    It's a long road and one I have only just begun but it feels good. 

    I hope you are able to find peace on your road. Be careful not to burn yourself out though, sometimes we can try to do too much too soon 

  • You could read many articles here which I find very useful. 

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance?utm_source=Community&utm_medium=Navigation&utm_campaign=SendToNAS&utm_content=AdviceGuidance

    You could also try watching videos of other autistic people, like Purple Ella, for example. This way you'll learn more about autism and how other people live with it. 

    https://youtube.com/@purpleella?si=8ojhCDPsHK14Qrgn

    Those are just suggestions based on my own experience when I found out I was autistic. Learning more about autism helped me learn more about myself and accept my abilities and my disabilities. 

  • It's a good thing that you want to straighten your social abilities, and start working and socialising but you have to keep in mind that masking causes exhaustion and sometimes meltdowns and shutdowns. So, try to make sure you dedicate some time everyday when you can be yourself and unwind. I'm sorry you feel that you aren't normal. Maybe a therapist could help you accept yourself and find a way to be you and also do all those things you want to do.