After another row with family earlier today, I realise I wasn't always grateful of their efforts, and the mentality I adopted was only upsetting and angering people. So I decided to set aside my autistic identity and just be normal, commit to socially acceptable behaviour, go out more, be around people more and later get a menial job and start over from the bottom. Even work on being nicer to people and earning their respect, trust and god willing their love.
And giving self help another try along with CBD to manage the pain.