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RSD Shutdown? What does that look like?

maxlinger60

Hello. I have been diagnosed both ADHD and more recently ASD, and in the past couple weeks I’ve had several things that might be shutdowns but I’m not quite sure what triggered them. I feel stiff in my chest and stop stimming altogether. It gets really hard to talk, like the very thought of moving might shatter me into a million painful pieces. Recently, I was told by a couple friends that I’ve been talking too much about my recent ASD diagnosis, and while they were both fair and kind about it, I had to go lock myself in my room for a couple hours until I could rejoin civilized society. I didn’t do anything during that time.

is this a shutdown? Is it common for RSD to cause shutdowns or meltdowns?

comments are appreciated

Parents

  • Oh yes...

    A few days back, I spent 9 hours with my girl friend. 

    Due to past experiences, when I wrote her a message and she didn't respond until it was really late in the evening, I (a textbook RSD case) completely fell apart and had a meltdown. It didn't help that she assured me she would tell me if I did something that she didn't like. 

    It manifested as extreme anxiety, shaking and crying. Especially in the evening. Even flying my drone didn't help at all. It felt like I was ill- rather badly so. 

    I think it was especially bad that day because the previous day, I was more vulnerable with her than with anyone else in my life before. I told her not just the traumatic memories haunting me (extreme bullying in university), but also that I get scared when she vanishes, and assume that I upset her. She really supported me and then acted like she really wanted to go out with me again. 

    But, with RSD, my brain processes this (not replying immediately) as physical pain. Rather intense pain, too. If someone breaks a wrist, same result. 

    She knows. I just hope she never finds out just how upset I get. And she really did start warning me since then when about to vanish, and tells me when she'll be back to normal afterwards. 

  • in reply to hypercolius

    I'm so sorry that happened. My experience was similar—both friends I consider very close and I opened up to them more than anyone else. Having them tell me that my sharing was overwhelming them and breaking their boundaries was physically agonizing, like I was both ill, dizzy, and suffering from broken ribs. It wasn't anybody's fault, really, but it became so debilitating I had to look for answers.

    Thanks for your reply.

  • in reply to maxlinger60

    That sounds so horrible. I really do remember that feeling. 

    I also, like I said had RSD. Here's the bullying episode I told my girlfriend about:

    1) I tried to go out with a girl in a society. She was hurting me emotionally nonstop and then broke my heart really badly. I then decided to never talk with her again. 

    2) About 17 days later, I asked the welfare officer of the society (who also happened to be close to the above girl) to stop swearing, as it was making me uncomfortable. I had told them previously I had social anxiety. 

    3) She started with threatening to block me. Then, she began demanding I don't attend parties. 

    4) When I tried to apologise, she got even angrier when I told her I had ASD and began acting really nasty, threatening me with formal consequences and then demanding I leave the society. 

    5) Needless to say, I didn't. 

    6) When I told a friend about this situation, I lost her instantly. She sided with the welfare officer immediately and turned hostile virtually overnight. 

    7) Over the space of the next month, I lost two important friendships suddenly. 

    8) The two girls- the welfare officer and the one I wanted to go out with- attempted to formally report me. Whilst they failed, because they attempted to accuse me of sexual harassment, I had to stop my mother from taking legal action against the society. 

    9) I was then suddenly removed from the society

    10) And when I reported them? The whole society unfollowed me on social media save just two people. 

    11) Despite the threats, lies and everything I captured on screenshot, the university refused to take action, which is now causing me to plan to escalate to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator. 

    She was supportive, she listened, she wanted to know everything and she tried to support me. No criticism, she was just warm and there and didn't really seem to be in a hurry to leave afterwards. Everything about her screamed warmth and kindness that evening. 

    I'm sorry your friends didn't support you and told you that. Maybe it would help posting what happened here, if you're comfortable? I would certainly never tell you things like that. 

Reply
  • in reply to maxlinger60

    That sounds so horrible. I really do remember that feeling. 

    I also, like I said had RSD. Here's the bullying episode I told my girlfriend about:

    1) I tried to go out with a girl in a society. She was hurting me emotionally nonstop and then broke my heart really badly. I then decided to never talk with her again. 

    2) About 17 days later, I asked the welfare officer of the society (who also happened to be close to the above girl) to stop swearing, as it was making me uncomfortable. I had told them previously I had social anxiety. 

    3) She started with threatening to block me. Then, she began demanding I don't attend parties. 

    4) When I tried to apologise, she got even angrier when I told her I had ASD and began acting really nasty, threatening me with formal consequences and then demanding I leave the society. 

    5) Needless to say, I didn't. 

    6) When I told a friend about this situation, I lost her instantly. She sided with the welfare officer immediately and turned hostile virtually overnight. 

    7) Over the space of the next month, I lost two important friendships suddenly. 

    8) The two girls- the welfare officer and the one I wanted to go out with- attempted to formally report me. Whilst they failed, because they attempted to accuse me of sexual harassment, I had to stop my mother from taking legal action against the society. 

    9) I was then suddenly removed from the society

    10) And when I reported them? The whole society unfollowed me on social media save just two people. 

    11) Despite the threats, lies and everything I captured on screenshot, the university refused to take action, which is now causing me to plan to escalate to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator. 

    She was supportive, she listened, she wanted to know everything and she tried to support me. No criticism, she was just warm and there and didn't really seem to be in a hurry to leave afterwards. Everything about her screamed warmth and kindness that evening. 

    I'm sorry your friends didn't support you and told you that. Maybe it would help posting what happened here, if you're comfortable? I would certainly never tell you things like that. 

Children
  • in reply to Lily

    Indeed. 

    And the situation is far worse than it seems too. 

  • in reply to hypercolius

    That sounds so awful and draining.  I think many ND people have very similar experiences of being bullied and ostracised and worst of all gaslight by the nasty people that hurt us! Then if we attempt to calmly explain our perspective we get called strange/difficult/over-sensitive