RSD Shutdown? What does that look like?

Yes, being the brunt of rumours and lies is awful, especially when it feels like everyone believes them and won't give us the chance to tell our side and defend ourselves, but the thing with RSD is that it feels much much worse and manifests as physical pain, often causing a spiral that may have terrible consequences.

In my darkest moments I'll tell myself that nobody likes me at work and I'll get suicidal ideation, just because someone didn't return my smile. That's what RSD does.

Indeed. 

And the situation is far worse than it seems too. 

RSD is a condition which possibly arises due to differences in brain structure. 

my.clevelandclinic.org/.../24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd

And yes, whilst I understand many people don't like being criticised, for me it causes severe mental distress up to feelings of self-harm. 

I would agree with you that pain in face of someone else’s indifference is a perfectly common NT reaction, however in ND folks it tends to manifest in a particular way. It’s perceiving even the slightest cues as severe rejection—missed eye contact, tone of voice, setting boundaries. For NDs specifically, it may cause intense bodily and mental reactions that often would only be described by NT people as violent mood swings, “temper tantrums” (meltdowns), or withdrawing completely (shutdowns—the thing I’m asking about). 

It's all very well, but what if you really have been rejected and all the rest of it and people still won't tell you why, or give you a load of nonsense and wont let you respond and choose to believe the lies of another. I don't think a set of initials is needed for this, its a perfectly normal sense of hurt and injustice, who wouldn't be thinking and overthinking about what they could possibly have done wrong? Who are these people who just accept it and don't feel anything much, isn't there something more wrong with them than us?

That sounds so awful and draining.  I think many ND people have very similar experiences of being bullied and ostracised and worst of all gaslight by the nasty people that hurt us! Then if we attempt to calmly explain our perspective we get called strange/difficult/over-sensitive 

I've read that it's more associated with ADHD, but I have both anyway and experience RSD through perceived rejection or actual rejection. In a way perceived rejection is worse because the mind conjures up all sorts of reasons why, instead of the actual reason.

And yes, it feels physically painful. It's like a tightening of my throat, chest and stomach. Sometimes it feels like I've been punched.

That sounds so horrible. I really do remember that feeling. 

I also, like I said had RSD. Here's the bullying episode I told my girlfriend about:

1) I tried to go out with a girl in a society. She was hurting me emotionally nonstop and then broke my heart really badly. I then decided to never talk with her again. 

2) About 17 days later, I asked the welfare officer of the society (who also happened to be close to the above girl) to stop swearing, as it was making me uncomfortable. I had told them previously I had social anxiety. 

3) She started with threatening to block me. Then, she began demanding I don't attend parties. 

4) When I tried to apologise, she got even angrier when I told her I had ASD and began acting really nasty, threatening me with formal consequences and then demanding I leave the society. 

5) Needless to say, I didn't. 

6) When I told a friend about this situation, I lost her instantly. She sided with the welfare officer immediately and turned hostile virtually overnight. 

7) Over the space of the next month, I lost two important friendships suddenly. 

8) The two girls- the welfare officer and the one I wanted to go out with- attempted to formally report me. Whilst they failed, because they attempted to accuse me of sexual harassment, I had to stop my mother from taking legal action against the society. 

9) I was then suddenly removed from the society

10) And when I reported them? The whole society unfollowed me on social media save just two people. 

11) Despite the threats, lies and everything I captured on screenshot, the university refused to take action, which is now causing me to plan to escalate to the Office of the Independent Adjudicator. 

She was supportive, she listened, she wanted to know everything and she tried to support me. No criticism, she was just warm and there and didn't really seem to be in a hurry to leave afterwards. Everything about her screamed warmth and kindness that evening. 

I'm sorry your friends didn't support you and told you that. Maybe it would help posting what happened here, if you're comfortable? I would certainly never tell you things like that. 

Thanks for the explaination.

What about when you have experienced rejection, critcism and social disaproval all at the same time? Does that count as RSD, or are you just classed as bad? Is this just another way that NT's other people, mostly us, for being "over sensitive" to thier carelessness and lack of understanding?

Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is a term used to describe a condition where individuals experience intense emotional pain and distress in response to perceived rejection, criticism, or social disapproval. While it can occur in people without ASD, RSD is commonly associated with autism, and research suggests that individuals with autism are more likely to experience it due to differences in brain structure and social processing abilities.

What is RSD, I tried looking it up and the answer made no sense in the context of this thread?

It does linger and can be a sore point, sort of an embarrassing thing to admit to. Just know that there are others that also have RSD so you're not on your own. I don't know about you, but I find it really hard to feel vulnerable and sometimes the shut downs following a negative experience make me feel that way.

I find going to the gym and doing  exercises with weights helps. Good luck and hope you feel better soon 

I'm so sorry that happened. My experience was similar—both friends I consider very close and I opened up to them more than anyone else. Having them tell me that my sharing was overwhelming them and breaking their boundaries was physically agonizing, like I was both ill, dizzy, and suffering from broken ribs. It wasn't anybody's fault, really, but it became so debilitating I had to look for answers.

Thanks for your reply.

Yeah, thanks for the good advice. I've tried journaling like that and it's worked decently well, but the RSD doesn't just fade like sensory issues. Rather, it sticks around as a catalyst for other ***. About 18 hours after I wrote that message I had another shutdown, then tried to go for a walk and had a meltdown, with seemingly no trigger save for the RSD shutdown itself. I'm not sure if RSD makes us super prone to everything else, but it sets me off like nothing else.

RSD makes me appear paranoid but to avoid discomfort I stop talking and my body feels very fizzy like electricity because I'm holding everything in. I find it helpful to write down what's upsetting me and then think about different perspectives or reasons why something gas happened. That calms me down and stops the negative self talk and rumination 

Oh yes...

A few days back, I spent 9 hours with my girl friend. 

Due to past experiences, when I wrote her a message and she didn't respond until it was really late in the evening, I (a textbook RSD case) completely fell apart and had a meltdown. It didn't help that she assured me she would tell me if I did something that she didn't like. 

It manifested as extreme anxiety, shaking and crying. Especially in the evening. Even flying my drone didn't help at all. It felt like I was ill- rather badly so. 

I think it was especially bad that day because the previous day, I was more vulnerable with her than with anyone else in my life before. I told her not just the traumatic memories haunting me (extreme bullying in university), but also that I get scared when she vanishes, and assume that I upset her. She really supported me and then acted like she really wanted to go out with me again. 

But, with RSD, my brain processes this (not replying immediately) as physical pain. Rather intense pain, too. If someone breaks a wrist, same result. 

She knows. I just hope she never finds out just how upset I get. And she really did start warning me since then when about to vanish, and tells me when she'll be back to normal afterwards.