RSD Shutdown? What does that look like?

Hello. I have been diagnosed both ADHD and more recently ASD, and in the past couple weeks I’ve had several things that might be shutdowns but I’m not quite sure what triggered them. I feel stiff in my chest and stop stimming altogether. It gets really hard to talk, like the very thought of moving might shatter me into a million painful pieces. Recently, I was told by a couple friends that I’ve been talking too much about my recent ASD diagnosis, and while they were both fair and kind about it, I had to go lock myself in my room for a couple hours until I could rejoin civilized society. I didn’t do anything during that time.

is this a shutdown? Is it common for RSD to cause shutdowns or meltdowns?

comments are appreciated

Parents
  • Oh yes...

    A few days back, I spent 9 hours with my girl friend. 

    Due to past experiences, when I wrote her a message and she didn't respond until it was really late in the evening, I (a textbook RSD case) completely fell apart and had a meltdown. It didn't help that she assured me she would tell me if I did something that she didn't like. 

    It manifested as extreme anxiety, shaking and crying. Especially in the evening. Even flying my drone didn't help at all. It felt like I was ill- rather badly so. 

    I think it was especially bad that day because the previous day, I was more vulnerable with her than with anyone else in my life before. I told her not just the traumatic memories haunting me (extreme bullying in university), but also that I get scared when she vanishes, and assume that I upset her. She really supported me and then acted like she really wanted to go out with me again. 

    But, with RSD, my brain processes this (not replying immediately) as physical pain. Rather intense pain, too. If someone breaks a wrist, same result. 

    She knows. I just hope she never finds out just how upset I get. And she really did start warning me since then when about to vanish, and tells me when she'll be back to normal afterwards. 

Reply
  • Oh yes...

    A few days back, I spent 9 hours with my girl friend. 

    Due to past experiences, when I wrote her a message and she didn't respond until it was really late in the evening, I (a textbook RSD case) completely fell apart and had a meltdown. It didn't help that she assured me she would tell me if I did something that she didn't like. 

    It manifested as extreme anxiety, shaking and crying. Especially in the evening. Even flying my drone didn't help at all. It felt like I was ill- rather badly so. 

    I think it was especially bad that day because the previous day, I was more vulnerable with her than with anyone else in my life before. I told her not just the traumatic memories haunting me (extreme bullying in university), but also that I get scared when she vanishes, and assume that I upset her. She really supported me and then acted like she really wanted to go out with me again. 

    But, with RSD, my brain processes this (not replying immediately) as physical pain. Rather intense pain, too. If someone breaks a wrist, same result. 

    She knows. I just hope she never finds out just how upset I get. And she really did start warning me since then when about to vanish, and tells me when she'll be back to normal afterwards. 

Children
  • I'm so sorry that happened. My experience was similar—both friends I consider very close and I opened up to them more than anyone else. Having them tell me that my sharing was overwhelming them and breaking their boundaries was physically agonizing, like I was both ill, dizzy, and suffering from broken ribs. It wasn't anybody's fault, really, but it became so debilitating I had to look for answers.

    Thanks for your reply.