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Anxiety at work

Wib

I started a new job in January and I’m loving it. It’s a job I’m genuinely passionate about and adore.

I got a message from a manager this morning that basically asked me if I would be free for a catchup about my 3 month probation tomorrow before my shift.

For context, I once had a job where they scheduled a probation meeting and then let me go so these sort of meetings or any meetings with managers make me very anxious.

Ever since I got this message I have been stuck in an anxiety spiral. I have convinced myself I’m being let go and I’m reading way too much into the message. For example, I thought my probation was 6 months so I have took from the 3 month mention that they are failing me after only 3 months.

I have spoken to my partner and he has reminded me of how much positive feedback I have been getting at my job and that it’s most likely a standard catchup to ensure I’m settling in alright and to see if I have any questions or concerns. 

My partner also suggested that in my meeting I should request a reasonable accommodation about getting a summary of what meetings will be about beforehand as I do struggle with meetings being scheduled where I don’t know what the meeting entails. Because the contents are unknown, I tend to create scenarios in my head which causes issues.

I have a therapy session tomorrow so I’m going to ask my therapist for some advice, but I just wanted to have a rant and to see if anyone could relate.

  • in reply to Wib

    Good news !

    You're not alone - I pretty much worry about everything and often jump to negative thoughts, without reality checking.

    I did suspect O & U was right in their earlier reply, it was just a formality to let you know and to check in with you, how you thought you were doing.  

  • I see from your update it all went fine so congratulations for that and I'm glad the worry was unnecessary. Though I understand how unpleasant and exhausting those moments are.

    I can definitely relate but don't have much advice for future scenarios I'm afraid. I too go into anxious spirals where my brain tries to fill the unknown gaps, usually in negative ways. It's not a spiral I've ever had much success breaking. My only thought would be to make note of situations such as this one where the worry was totally unnecessary and not at all realistic. Perhaps if you could build up this list, it may help in the future to reassure yourself that your anxiety is often wrong.

    Good luck with your ongoing progress in your job.

  • in reply to Wib

    Hurrah.  Won't say I told you so (but I did !)  

  • Update guys. The meeting was absolutely fine. Turns out halfway through your probation they do a review meeting just up check in with employees and to give any  feedback. All my feedback was positive and I was told that I’ll have another one of these meetings in July where they will let me know if I passed my probationary period. My manager said that he expects I’ll pass this with no issues and to keep up the good work.

    Massive sigh of relief Relieved

  • in reply to overwhelmed & underwhelmed ( O & U )

    Thanks for the reassurance. I get so caught up in these little anxiety spirals in my head. I‘ll update everyone here tomorrow I’m sure it’ll go fine :)) 

  • I can certainly understand your anxiety regarding the meeting. I could easily start to read all types of things into the situation. I don’t think it is unreasonable to ask for an agenda or an objective for the meeting. Not sure of your work environment or your role so maybe that wouldn’t work?

    im sure it will be fine if you’ve had positive feedback though, hope all goes well 

  • I'd say that (most) Autistic people would have heard loud and clear that the probationary period was 6 months, and it is likely that there's a review at the half-way point to ensure everything is okay.  

    No, you didn't make a mistake and hear 6 when it was only 3. 

    I am virtually certain that the review will be absolutely fine - in line with what your partner has said, and the positive feedback you've received.  I do however think you should clarify what and when any future reviews will be about in terms of scope so you may prepare for them properly.

    I look forward to you posting tomorrow - telling us how well it all went, but I do appreciate the fact we all need to rant sometimes.