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Running away from socials

Paul

I seem to have an issue with social groups, in that I always feel the need to join them when I'm not in one, and then to escape or run away and cut myself off when I've been in them a short time, or even a little longer.

I think the trigger is when I feel like I'm too much, I feel like I talk too much and am too over friendly initially, or I feel like I'm not as accepted as other members are. I know this takes time but I always feel rejected, even when the rest of the group probably haven't even noticed a change.

I've found a nice group on my online game and they're quite chatty at times, but again I have the overwhelming urge to quit and I don't quite know why. Maybe I'm a bit socially lonely, which would make sense I guess. I don't go out much and spend most time with my partner. Face to face interaction is too difficult so all my friendships are online or text.

It feels like a cycle and I need to talk to my therapist about it to get to the bottom of why, but I just wondered if anyone else experiences this?

Parents

  • I have posted about this many times before. I also do a runner when I cannot manage any longer. Usually ends in tears and extreme sadness coupled with exhaustion. Thankfully there is not much on our social calendar so I can keep at a distance. 

  • in reply to Take5

    Agreed here. It usually triggers RSD through perceived rejection or actual rejection, and I end up in a shutdown and depression for a anything between a few hours to a day or two. It's made me think it's pointless even trying if it makes me feel this way.

    In some cases I find someone in the group who is racist, homophobic, ableist or sexist and then I leave through disappointment that the community I joined feels this behaviour is ok, but often it's not even anyone's fault, it's just my mind telling me that I'm not welcome or I don't fit.

  • in reply to Paul

    Just read your bio Paul. I see you’re a personal trainer. My ex brother in law was a ex military Pt and I train with him which I love….. he always pushes me to my limit which is great also. Do you enjoy your work? 

  • in reply to Paul

    I don’t use a public gym. We have all his old equipment in a large garage as he is no longer a Pt. It’s perfect as it’s just us two. I would not manage in a public environment as you say it’s all too much showing off and more of a social gathering. 

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  • in reply to Paul

    I don’t use a public gym. We have all his old equipment in a large garage as he is no longer a Pt. It’s perfect as it’s just us two. I would not manage in a public environment as you say it’s all too much showing off and more of a social gathering. 

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