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Running away from socials

Deleted User

I seem to have an issue with social groups, in that I always feel the need to join them when I'm not in one, and then to escape or run away and cut myself off when I've been in them a short time, or even a little longer.

I think the trigger is when I feel like I'm too much, I feel like I talk too much and am too over friendly initially, or I feel like I'm not as accepted as other members are. I know this takes time but I always feel rejected, even when the rest of the group probably haven't even noticed a change.

I've found a nice group on my online game and they're quite chatty at times, but again I have the overwhelming urge to quit and I don't quite know why. Maybe I'm a bit socially lonely, which would make sense I guess. I don't go out much and spend most time with my partner. Face to face interaction is too difficult so all my friendships are online or text.

It feels like a cycle and I need to talk to my therapist about it to get to the bottom of why, but I just wondered if anyone else experiences this?

Parents

  • I have posted about this many times before. I also do a runner when I cannot manage any longer. Usually ends in tears and extreme sadness coupled with exhaustion. Thankfully there is not much on our social calendar so I can keep at a distance. 

  • in reply to Take5

    Agreed here. It usually triggers RSD through perceived rejection or actual rejection, and I end up in a shutdown and depression for a anything between a few hours to a day or two. It's made me think it's pointless even trying if it makes me feel this way.

    In some cases I find someone in the group who is racist, homophobic, ableist or sexist and then I leave through disappointment that the community I joined feels this behaviour is ok, but often it's not even anyone's fault, it's just my mind telling me that I'm not welcome or I don't fit.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Just read your bio Paul. I see you’re a personal trainer. My ex brother in law was a ex military Pt and I train with him which I love….. he always pushes me to my limit which is great also. Do you enjoy your work? 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I don’t use a public gym. We have all his old equipment in a large garage as he is no longer a Pt. It’s perfect as it’s just us two. I would not manage in a public environment as you say it’s all too much showing off and more of a social gathering. 

  • in reply to Take5

    I enjoy the time with my clients. They're all fab and it's nice to help them. I'm not keen on the gym environment anymore though. It's too noisy, toxic and fake for me, and I don't like the fitness industry much as a whole. Hoping to find something different soon.

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  • in reply to Take5

    I enjoy the time with my clients. They're all fab and it's nice to help them. I'm not keen on the gym environment anymore though. It's too noisy, toxic and fake for me, and I don't like the fitness industry much as a whole. Hoping to find something different soon.

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    I don’t use a public gym. We have all his old equipment in a large garage as he is no longer a Pt. It’s perfect as it’s just us two. I would not manage in a public environment as you say it’s all too much showing off and more of a social gathering.