• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 82 subscribers
  • Views 180 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

How do I help a work colleague - if I even can?

mrs.snooks

Hi. The first thing to say is ... I am not 'out' as autistic, at work.

A colleague at work has just had his job replaced by AI and is now on a 1 month trial in a new role. He is also not 'out'. But everyone can see that he is autistic. (They probably think the same thing about me, but may still think I am just rude.) He also does not know that I am also autistic.

He has 1 month to show that he can manage this new role and I fear that the odds are stacked against him. The organisation is not really very tolerant.

He is like me. And shows all the problems of executive function issues. He had his first day of learning the new job yesterday and I could see him struggling.

So my question is, how can I help him keep his job. Would really appreciate your advice. And if it is you who I am talking about, reach out to me. I'm hidden, but here.

Mrs Snooks

  • in reply to mrs.snooks

    Very brave, hope all goes well for you, good luck

  • in reply to mrs.snooks
    mrs.snooks said:
    I am out - as autistic, to senior mangement

    Such a generous offer is to be respected - irrespective of whether it is taken up / acted upon.

    Wishing you well "out there".

    There is much to learn from a storm.

    Hoping your evening is one of recuperation.

  • Hi. I have put in an offer to the management to be a mentor.

    I am out - as autistic, to senior mangement

    I am all out of spoons today

    'Let the storm rage on'

    xx Mrs Snooks

  • Depending on the nature of your colleague's new role, maybe you could offer - neutrally - to be his mentor on some aspects?

    I have done that before now - we used to meet with a coffee in a meeting room - so the person could air their worries without an audience.

  • in reply to Iain

    Super. Thanks  

  • in reply to whiteD404

    Thank you  . Really appreciate your advice.

  • in reply to Tears_before_bedtime

    Yes. Great idea,Thumbsup  thank you for your help.

  • mrs.snooks said:
    He is like me. And shows all the problems of executive function issues. He had his first day of learning the new job yesterday and I could see him struggling.

    You could always just ask him if he is struggling with certain things that appear obvious to you and offer to teach him the techniques that you use to get them done.

    I would think it quite possible to offer situation specific support without having to use the word "autistic" at all - everyone has weaknesses so you can use that as the cue to offer specific support using yourself as an example of someone who has been there before.

    mrs.snooks said:
    how can I help him keep his job.

    You could ask him if he wants a mentor who suffered similar struggles to him, although you will need to clear with with your and his management first I expect.

    In reality all you can do is offer the help - he has to be willing to accept it and of course your management need to approve the time it will cost both of you to do this, otherwise it will take time out of hours and neither of you may have the bandwidth to deal with that extra time / effort.

  • If applicable you could give positive feedback to his manager. If you work together on something and it's appropriate that is. We do "ethank yous" at my work where you can send an automatic message to the person and their manager. Just little things like "I want to thank X for their great contribution in the meeting today" or similar. Don't know if that sort of thing would help..?

  • Sorry I am not across your work and what you do etc so it's not so easy to help. I don't like to see anyone struggling, can you not offer to help or is not realistic or possible? You mention the organisation is not very tolerant, is that the case for his line manager or maybe yours? Unless they really want the individual out (which maybe the case?) I would think they would provide support/assistance to help learn the new role? 

  • in reply to overwhelmed & underwhelmed

    Thank you so much for the advice. I am totally with you on all points. Thanks for replying. Not sure what I am going to do. Just feel quite powerless. And absolutely, don't want to make things worse. Really appreciate what you have said. x

  • Excuse my ignorance here, but you can't help someone who may not wish to be helped.   

    He may be 'out' in some sectors of his life, or not at all, but you can't expose him at work, nor show a helpful sign of solidarity.   Besides, he may be exhibiting signs of something else (not Autism) and you may just see common traits.   

    What can you do?   Accidentally drop some kind of identifier on the floor near him to ensure he sees it, to make sure he realises he has an ally, should he need one?   Might work.    An 'I am Autistic card' possibly.  I dunno.    It sounds intrusive, but he may, if you're right, reach out.    Would you have someone reach out to you like this?  

    More subtle.   See him do something and say...  "I struggle with that because I am Autistic", and see if it draws him out??  

    I'm not criticising, I'm just thinking through.  I'd probably wish to help if I were you.  In fact, I'd likely reach out (and maybe make it worse)  

    I mean - you could make a friend here, best case scenario.