It’s so hard I find to work in a team with others. I had thought that I was a collaborative person, and I’m very social person. But as I’m going through a mentally challenging time, I’m realising that I’m not as much of a team worker as I thought.
For starters, I subconsciously work in my own head when working as a team, and so used to wanting to be more perfect before sharing to the group, because I’m self conscious but also because I know I get stuck for coming up with creative ideas when I’m in a group with others and have to collaborate on the spot. It’s frustrating because I really want to collaborate in a way where I can really open up and also receive people’s responses and take them in. Sometimes I don’t even take in other ideas properly. This is in relation to creative tasks.
If I lead on a project, I become intense, and it can put more pressure than is needed. I tend to overdo work when it comes to a task and I don’t know how to break down tasks into manageable pieces, and focus on what is needed and not over do. It’s led to me being an intense person I feel, as I can’t seem to let go of being perfect.
I’ve realised how much I’ve been in my head and not even realised it fully until now, and I don’t know what to do to get myself out my head, and collaborate in a way where I know what I can or can’t do (because I try to do everything) whilst being able to know how long to work for, and how to work within limits, whilst absorbing everyone’s thoughts, whilst keeping my own identity.
Any thoughts? This article explains that feeling perfectly;