What's wrong with the word 'no'

It's a word with deep cultural connotations, many people are afraid that they will lose face if they say no, one of the things I learnt about The Highlands and Islands of Scotland is if you'd like a favour from someone, you don't ask outright, so if you wanted a tractor for a day on thursday, and the person you were talking too had one, you wouldn't ask them out right because they'd be obliged to say yes, so you say to the universe, I really need the loan of a tractor next thursday, f they and their tractor were free they'd say yes if not they have the option of staying silent.

Don't forget a lot of people won't take no for an answer and want to know exactly why you've said no and will really put pressure on you to change your mind, it's an uncomfortable position to be in, especially when it's a social situation and theres a group that all want to do something and you're the one that dosen't.

• This is very insightful. Did you come to this realisation over time or did you just realise it straight away? I feel like this is the kind of thing I’d like explained to me for many different scenarios. Totally get that there are these cultural things but no idea what they are until I learn them the hard way 

I was told about it early on in my trips to Skye by someone who'd lived there for many years, I doubt I would have picked up on it, not just because of the general problems picking up social cues because of ASC, but because it's not something I'd ever come across before. Some people get really angry about different social cues and refuse to "pander" to them, I don't see it as pandering, but as sensitivity and fitting in with the dominant culture, it seems such a small change to make, and actually I quite liked it, theres less pressure to instantly agree to something before you've thought it through and you don't have to say no outright.

I've also had my right to say no to things removed from me by others, often male others and some people ask what you think or what you want when actually they're asking for your agreement on something they've already decided and put in motion. The rows start when you totally disagree with the whole idea anyway and say they should have asked you to begin with before putting the thing in motion, the answer I usually get back is 'I knew you'd say no' and people wonder why I don't want to be around others.

I was told about it early on in my trips to Skye by someone who'd lived there for many years, I doubt I would have picked up on it, not just because of the general problems picking up social cues because of ASC, but because it's not something I'd ever come across before. Some people get really angry about different social cues and refuse to "pander" to them, I don't see it as pandering, but as sensitivity and fitting in with the dominant culture, it seems such a small change to make, and actually I quite liked it, theres less pressure to instantly agree to something before you've thought it through and you don't have to say no outright.

I've also had my right to say no to things removed from me by others, often male others and some people ask what you think or what you want when actually they're asking for your agreement on something they've already decided and put in motion. The rows start when you totally disagree with the whole idea anyway and say they should have asked you to begin with before putting the thing in motion, the answer I usually get back is 'I knew you'd say no' and people wonder why I don't want to be around others.