Employment (Buckland Review)

Unfortunately, I believe everybody on here who is neurodiverse has had a similar experience, which wouldn't tally with what the party line is, so you get the off-putting glance and the whispering in the corridors. There is a reason that so few autistic adults work; maybe it is something you should consider. Nobody deserves to experience what you have described at a place of work.

The key is to embrace your perceived differences as an opportunity to build a life from an alternative viewpoint. Indeed, don't fall into the trap of trying to 'fit in'; it is exhausting, mentally draining, and most importantly, biologically impossible. If you are high functioning, there is some fascinating research which suggests neurodiverse individuals can learn the 'dark arts' of the neurotypical. But in my opinion, what's the point?

Ad Infinitum said:

. I received a letter attached to an email from my boss about a change in employment terms and conditions, everyone was receiving them, my role was treated differently to all other roles in the organisation

This already tells me that you were targetted to get rid of.

The management would have decided you were low hanging fruit and they wanted you gone so the reworking of contracts is a classic way for companies to rewrite job roles to exclude those they want to leave - this way the target will be made to feel unworthy . unneeded and unwanted and by making their life purposefully difficult then they are likely to leave.

I've been ordered to do this in the past and it isn't nice but is done in a way that HR will be involved but always have the managements side.

Management are given quite a lot of meetings with HR about how to handle this and what they are allowed to say as it is all borderline illegal, but if done "right" will get the results without the risk of a court case.

It saved on redundancy payments so to their minds is well worth it.

I had a similar experience. I received a letter attached to an email from my boss about a change in employment terms and conditions, everyone was receiving them, my role was treated differently to all other roles in the organisation. I did not understand why this was the case so wrote back, and my boss and HR called me into a meeting, told me that I was raising a grievance by raising questions and putting them in writing, that they had sort legal advice, and that if I contested their decision that I would lose. Until this point my career had gone extremely well as I worked extremely hard (I'm a people pleaser), and achieved great things for all the charities I worked for. Reflecting on the situation now, I understand that I wrote back to my boss due to my delayed processing speed, discomfort with conflict, and mirroring/masking, and that this was completely understandable and correct. Their viewing of my letter as an escalation was due to their understanding that they had not followed due process so they applied pressure to bully me into not raising this formally. Within a year I had a significant burnout and shutdown leading to my leaving that role. Since then (a year next week) I have completed consultancy work, volunteered lots, spent huge amounts of time renovating our house, and just secured a part time role which will cover my living costs which has somewhat reduced my anxiety. However, my justice sensitivity means that I ruminate on the situation, previosuly considering what I could have done better, but more now on how I could have been treated so badly. Looking forwards I'm interested in what we can do within and for our community to help more autistic people into work that suits them. Thanks for the thread it's really helpful to hear of similar experiences; though I'm sorry you were put through this.

Tanya said:

Bullying is not illegal.

In a work place setting it can be. Harasment and failing to make resionable adjustments can be ilegal and bullying can overlap with this sometimes. #notlegaladvice for you. Just an observation about this general situation for autism in employment.

I've tried, Iain, for fifteen years. No matter what game I play, personality I adopt, rules I break or adhere to, I always end up bullied and outcasted. Maybe I've just been unlucky with my work colleagues. I've always worked in entry level office roles, maybe if I had a specific career or didn't work with the same people for eight hours a day, five days a week, it would've been different.

Cloud44 said:

I'm bored of hearing the same old government moans about people being out of work, they need to take a look at what actually goes on in the workplace

The problem is that this is never going to happen because it is down to human nature (NT that is) in a social environment with a power structure.

It is the same the world over and I doubt it can be changed.

What we can do about it is change how we respond to it - learn about the psychology involved so you get to know the rules and drivers behind it and arm yourself with techniques to respond effectively - there is a great article on doing this here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201904/5-strategies-deal-bully

If you don't learn the rules and how to respond to the situations then you are allowing yourself to be a victim. Yes it would be great if everyone was nice but they are not - you know this so now that you have to tools at your disposal will you allow yourself to remain the victim?

I'm not suggesting to become the aggressor yourself - there is a healthy middle path that should keep the heat off of you and allow you to just get on with doing the job for most of the time.

I agree, I've been saying the same. All my bullying was covert and mostly by management leaving me with nowhere to turn. I'm bored of hearing the same old government moans about people being out of work, they need to take a look at what actually goes on in the workplace, the NHS is the worst place I've ever worked, bullying if rife. Fix the internal problem before the external problem can be resolved. I can work, autism doesn't stop me working, bullying and breakdowns do. If you ever think of doing something, I'll be happy to help you, I've been thinking of writing something myself.

Hi Tanya, sorry to read about what has happened, unfortunately it seems to be common and why a lot of autistic folks including me have to be good at masking and have learned the hard way through bad experiences. Not sure if you have tried or looked but maybe ACAS could help? I wish you all the best!

Thanks for the advice.  I'll check that out. 

Have you looked at valla as they are set up to provide lots of information to take the case on yourself. Might be worth a look.

Thank you for your message.  I'm sorry to hear what happened to you.  Yes, it does make you terrified about re-entering the employment market.  I think bullying of autistic vulnerable adults in the workplace needs to be addressed whether in the media and/or politically.  I'm getting on my soap box. 

Thank you for your message of support.  I'm sorry to hear you have been through a similar experience.  Because there is a less that 51% success rate, no solicitors will take on my case.   

I am sorry you have went through that. I have had similar experiences at work in similar veins to what you say. It seems NT's just can't cope with ND communication and look to report and complain. I went through a very traumatic investigation because I asked someone if they were late in to work.

Did you look into taking an employment tribunal on discrimination by harassment or are you time barred? 

Oh, I can't tell you the trauma I suffered over fifteen years of employment. It destroyed me, my personality, my self worth, my identity. I lost EVERYTHING about myself from workplace bullying, burnout and breakdowns. For what? Money, house and a car. It's made me realise money DOES NOT make you happy, not if you have to endure that much suffering to get it. I really hope things change, because right now the thought of going back into employment terrifies me. 

Hello Iain,  Thank you for your message of support.  There was a high staff turnover in the department.  My predecessor only lasted 3mths while I lasted 5mths.  I had a friendly exchange with a female colleague.  I politely enquired whether she had any issues with my work and if she did to come up and tell me.  She replied that she had no issues with my work.  Next minute, I'm falsely accused of inappropriately prodding her in the back with my finger and making her cry.  I went off on the sick with work-related stress and refused to go back in the open planned office. 

I raised a grievance.  I've now found out that the HR investigator and the Key Witness, who said I behaved very aggressively, are in fact mother and daughter.   The daughter wasn't even at her desk.  I was redeployed to another department.  I had a cancer scare.  When I came back from my operation, they falsely accused me of making a female colleague cry by standing too close to her and looking over her shoulder at an email. She was training me.  I was shadowing her.  They also falsely accused me of making a joke about cancer.  I resigned.  It has affected me.  

I've now written to the Head of HR informing her of the above.  I'm awaiting a HR review.  She is aware that I've written to my local MP.  I do not want anyone else to go through what I went through.  I'm hoping to get some closure in the way of an apology, retraction, and recompense for the emotional suffering. 

Hi Tanya and welcome to the community.

I also found work challenging - I changed jobs a lot and often took a lot of time off sick. I understand how you feel but unfortunately I can't think of much to say that others haven't already.

I'm now retired and I'm happier than I've ever been, so it does eventually pass!

I always do it in my mind when I start calculating things—

What is the worst that can happen?

What are the advantages or disadvantages of being there?

So, whenever you feel exhausted or anxious about your workplace, focus on the biggest risks of staying. Based on those risks, don’t worry about what others think—prioritize yourself, yourself, and yourself.

Tanya said:

Management and HR seem to always stick together to the point of gaslighting the vulnerable

You have understood it right. I worked for 2 decades in management and have plenty of experience of working with HR in staff disciplinary issues and while they want you to have the impression that they are your champion, they are in fact there to service the company and keep you in line.

i've witnessed some very unpleasant manipulation of people by management with HRs approval (and often guidance) as HRs job it to make sure the action of the staff and management does "the best thing" for the company - and if the consensus is that getting rid of someone is the best thing then they will work on finding a legal way to do it.

It sucks, but knowing it is there does give you the knowledge to work to avoid the worst of the possible outcomes.

Tanya said:

 I am relieved and saddened to hear so many autistic people being treated this way.

It isn't just autistic people - anyone who displeases management or isn't good enough at their job is at risk of this approach.

I think autists are good at creating a bad impression because of our social ineptitude, lack of flexibility and high sick leave levels (often from meltdowns or burnout) which gets us into trouble more than NTs.

Tanya said:

I've heard that less than 10% of autistic people are in work. 

I believe it is 30%

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Employment_of_autistic_people

Thank you for raising these points Tanya and explaining your problems at the moment.

I share the problems that you describe, so I want to raise a flag and wave it for you so we are all more aware of your points and presence here.

Sometimes, I feel like I get zero points for raising or waving a flag in life these days, even if it is to help raise awareness of the important points that you raise here.  To be honest, I even fear being put in prison if I do raise a flag for you in an act of solidarity and support for you Tanya and to raise the awareness of all of us people here, to what you say.

My flag waving is how I feel I need to express my autistic self.  Call it "flapping" if you like.  I don't think I can help it.  Is that OK - to be autistic here?  Perhaps some people are allowed to be autistic, and some people are not allowed to be autistic.  I find it hard to understand the rules here now.  That makes me ramble a bit.  I hope that is ok too.  Is it OK to ask if it is OK more that once here, now?

I think that 'flapping' is an autistic trait that some of us find it hard to avoid, even though a lot of NT people find that hard to understand or to make REASONABLE ALLOWANCES for it........but I do hope that NAS is the type of place where it is OK.

Perhaps "flapping" is not the correct term for what I am doing here........but I am certain it is an autistic thing that I am doing here.

Are autistic people allowed to wave flags here?

Tanya - I would LOVE to chat with you about the matters that you raise above, because I am in PRECISELY the same situation that you describe.  I do wonder whether the things that you speak of here in your OP are actually a trap because I feel trapped too, by the same things that you describe above.......and that is why I would LOVE to chat with you about this stuff.

Can you tell me more about the Buckland Review that you mention?  I don't know anything about it, so I would like to learn more about it from you Tanya.  I hope it is OK for me to ask you to help me in that way.

I hope that I won't get in trouble for asking for your help to understand.  I hope that I won't get in trouble for "flapping" or waving a flag in this way.  I hope that all people, whether autistic or not, can understand everything that you say here Tanya and that me being my authentic autistic self is also OK too.

It is very hard being like us Tanya.  We don't seem to have our own places to "be" perhaps?  What do you think Tanya?