Question about masking and etiquette / politeness

There's a lot packed into a dialogue, discussion or even an argument but I've found over the years to ask myself why I need to defend a thing. Have I been falsely accused? Will it cause harm to another party? What kind of relationship do I have with this other person and does it matter.

All humans have a drive toward resolution. It's just that if Freud was right (and Lacan and Jung and Fromm and so on), then the Typical method of 'resolution' is by fixing something other than the actual problem as part of Sublimation, learned through Typical communication. This includes the use of implied and unspoken elements deemed more 'civilised', and here's where one line of difference is, How we engage and convey a thing. What tends to be autistic is our spelling everything out, being overt, plainly stating what we are implying rather than intentionally hiding a thing for a bit of mystery and social dominance.

We can all be controlling, make unreasonable demands, mis-perceive a thing, be cruel. These are human items one can consciously begin to discipline, which is where I think Autistic thinking might come in useful. It's emotionally taxing, but I think we might be more open.

Intentionally hiding a thing can be a task of working out two things. One, what's priority or important. And two. if the other is projecting or if their perception and belief is abusive toward you or someone you love / care for. If the hill you're willing to die on is to protect another or about danger. I've had to learn to start writing things down, consolidating information or even the extremely painful of allowing the other the repercussions of their actions. 

We tend to feel things more intensely. Do I need to protect the other from the intensity of my reactions? That's not "masking". I do catch myself and have a laugh. But I also don't allow a**oles in my circle.  Do I need to step away from a discussion and write down my thoughts or I'll raze the other to an ash and cinder? That's not masking, just being responsible.  :) 

[Edit] After thought I realised that this reply did nothing to add to the conversation of the initial poster asking about masking/politeness. My error and apologies. Original post was asserting a viewpoint about Psychoanalysis, and not relevant to the original question. Happy to discuss PA with others in a thread specifically for that, but edited out my reply so as to not hijack the original post. :)

[Edit] After thought I realised that this reply did nothing to add to the conversation of the initial poster asking about masking/politeness. My error and apologies. Original post was asserting a viewpoint about Psychoanalysis, and not relevant to the original question. Happy to discuss PA with others in a thread specifically for that, but edited out my reply so as to not hijack the original post. :)

The concept I raised about Freud is still very much alive and well today. It's a Defence Mechanism called Sublimation. And so why I added in several other names. In fact, this is something that makes communication between Autistic and non-autistic a complete mismatch.

As for Freud? You'll find all of his concepts built upon and expanded on ad infinitum. the Ego, Oedipus, the unconscious and so on. Attachment theory was based on Winnicot who expanded on Oedipus from a different angle. In fact, most have misinterpreted Freud. It's good to first go to a source - read him and his students/contemporaries. He's reasonable and humble, acknowledging his limits. The problem with Freud is the problem with all of us: we only have so much time in life.  Thus why his daughter carried on his work & her foundation is actually doing some good with 'Autism reasearch'. He laid a LOT of groundwork. Like Kant did. The fact that we're still reading articles about him today says enough. 

If it's of interest, Deleuze and Guattari's Anti-Oedipus series are mind blowing. 

martintheactor said:

Freud's work has been entirely debunked at this point.

The original writing perhaps, but it has evolved a lot over the years and still seems to be taken very seriously by professionals in the field.

From https://journalpsyche.org/is-freud-still-relevant-today/

With the development of several theories of the human personality Freud’s is no longer the only one with validity or relevance. This does not mean that it should be rejected out of hand solely based on how its interpretations impact you.

While no professional is required to blindly accept the key points of any theoretical paradigm, the rejection should be based on solid scientific grounds.

It is quite an interesting read.