It has been commonly said that autistics have poor theory of mind.
After several months of having interactions with autistics of low support needs, high support needs and self-realised, I'm more inclined to believe Dr. Damian Milton's theory of double empathy
One of my prouder moments last year was distilling this theory into the following, and the good doctor himself (Damian, not the TV guy!) saying that he liked it.
When I was thinking about the often-cited patronising “theory of mind”, I came up with this in relation to your idea:
Autistic people have a poor Theory of Allistic Mind
Allistic people have poor Theory of Autistic Mind
Autistic people have good Theory of Autistic Mind
Allistic people have good Theory of Allistic Mind
The last three are largely ignored by the ‘experts’ – and they shorten ‘Allistic Mind’ to just ‘Mind’
But…! Even though Autistic people have a poor Theory or Allistic Mind, it is a damn sight better then the Allistic people’s Theory of Autistic Mind.
I read on here regularly of autistic people who keep repeating the same ineractions and failing (eg dating, trying to make friends etc) and they admit it is because they don't know the "rules" yet they will not go and learn these rules which would make the interactions easier.
Maybe it is the trait of change aversion that some do not want to learn and evolve because that involves change - there is probably a myriad reasons contributing, but it does reflect that we have a great deal of autists who will not help themselves in some situations.
Yep, understood - Perhaps tho' there is also an element of the "hard wiring" of the brain that means that for neurotypical people they don't need to "learn the rules" - since they are subconsciously applied by them. The typical delay that autistic people experience in interactions that is filled up by formulating a response that "fits the rules" in itself marks us as being "other" to neurotypical people perhaps. Recognition in neurotypical society that this is normal behaviour for autistic people and is no less valid than a neurotypical one (perhaps even more valid as it is more considered... ) would perhaps allow us to meet in the middle ground more often :-)
