Being a bridesmaid when on spectrum for friend wedding

Weddings can be a lot even for people who enjoy big social situations, so it makes total sense that being a bridesmaid feels overwhelming when you are on the spectrum. The best thing you can do is set clear expectations with the bride so you know exactly what parts you are expected to be involved in and where you can take breaks if you need them. Most good friends are very understanding once you explain what helps and what doesn’t.

Bring your loop earplugs, have a quiet spot picked out ahead of time and do not feel guilty about stepping away when your brain needs a reset. You do not have to be “on” the whole day just because you have a title.

And if the reception or after-party ends up too loud or chaotic, some people create a calmer side-area with something relaxing to do. I have even seen folks Hire cigar roller for the outdoor section which gave guests a laid back space away from the noise. The point is to structure the day in a way that lets you enjoy it without burning yourself out.

Be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. That is completely valid.

Hey i also exsperianced something simular having to be a little best man for my dad who i dont see regularly. Id say it was stressful but worth it for the exsperiance. I understand the stress you might feel but i found even if it was not what i wanted to do it meant alot to other people. If your not thag bothered then its fine to give this one a miss. You will make the right decision. Best of luck

Heya Rainbow Girl

I can definitely recommend Loop Earplugs also - I must admit that I have 2 sets of the Loop Engage (original and the newer version) and Loop Experience (same as Engage), and I also have 1 set of the original Loop Quiet and 1 set of the Loop Quiet Plus).

I've come to rely more and more on them due to environments becoming louder and my hearing feels more and more sensitive.

I was a bridesmaid for my brother's wedding in 2013 (which didn't end well and they were divorced about a year later), and I have to admit, I hadn't discovered Loop Earplugs (not even sure if they had even been made at that point) - it was fun, even though the event did stress me out at the time as I am based in England and my brother lives in Montreal, Canada - so the travel added to my stress as well (and I hated wearing a dress as well lol).

But going back to what others are saying - this is all about your friend's day, you're just there to support her and help with whatever she needs help with. Yes, it's a massively busy, hectic time, but you'll look back on it having enjoyed your friend's day.

If it helps - get your friend to make a list of what she wants you to do - and as you go through that list, tick it off as done - you'll be very surprised as to what you can do.

Wishing your friend and her partner a wonderful day and wishing you a little love as well.

Mweekie xx

Preparing as much as you can sounds like good advice to me, the fewer surprises the better - but also be aware that sometimes weddings don't go to plan! If your friend understands you, let them know how you're feeling anxious but also want to help.

I mean this with respect, but I think nearly all of the attention on the day will be directed towards your friend as it is their wedding, maybe that helps take off some of the pressure off you. When I feel anxious about something, I write down a list of all the things my anxiety is telling me will go wrong, then I force myself to be more objective and think how likely is any of that going to be or how I can get around it. Our worries tend to inflate more because our thoughts naturally don't match reality.

If you're really wanting to be there for your friend (which it sounds like you do), then perhaps just focus on supporting them on their day as best you can, maybe having that focus can help you get through it and then plan how you'll recover - like maybe leave earlier than others, spending the next day as a quiet day etc.

Make sure you know what is expected of you and what the bride wants. There should be a rehearsal before the event, which will allow you to practise for the day and should help. At the reception, you will be sitting at the top table with the bride & other bridesmaid, so you will be with your friends. Focus on the practical things and supporting your friend to have a good day. 

My family will be there and there only going to be about under 40 people at the event.  I know the other bridesmaid as their only two of us. 

Yes because she been my best friend since we were children. 

Do you want to be a bridesmaid?

Maybe ask your friend to tell you exactly what she wants and also if you’re able to look at the location beforehand, which might help you to feel a bit more prepared. Loops are pretty good in my opinion, but definitely try wearing them on a few occasions beforehand so you get used to the feeling. Do you know many people there? If not you could bring a friend as your +1 for backup.