37 and diagnosed Autistic for Christmas

Ah no need to apologise! Hopefully it wasn't in relation to your username hey  

Thank you again

You're most welcome! I'm so sorry that my reply took so long to appear.

It was stuck in moderation quarantine until today.  

Thanks so much for the information and the heads up on the user name too! I shall change it now :) 

Massively agree with this - I am waiting for my therapy stuff to get sorted but I'm already looking forward to it!

I'm really not sure what issues I want to understand more because I'm not sure which ones I don't actually understand (if that makes sense?). One thing that does matter to me is learning about relationships and how to enjoy them. I don't find it particularly hard to get attention but when I'm in a relationship, they never last more than 2 years (max) - this is a really important area in my life so I guess that's something I should be looking in to a little more.

Thanks, likewise too!

Ahhh brill, thanks Chrissy - I like an audio book whilst walking the dog! 

Thanks again!

Thanks Patrick, I haven't been doing it every day to be honest however I'm finding once I have done it, I feel a bit better (hard to describe) so I'm going to put more effort in to it.

Thanks again and happy new year!

Thank you!

Cheers Andy! I was listening to Adult with Autism earlier talking about the autism tax and it really made sense to me. I shall give some more a listen too. As for my ADHD diagnosis.... I'm in another queue for that one!

Thanks very much for this. It's not been long but I'm finding myself slowing down a fair bit and just considering things a bit more.

It looks like it's going to be a long journey ahead....

Thanks very much, I have been watching Autism from the Inside today and finding it useful - unfortunately I can't speak German so better to give the other one a miss :) 

Welcome to the community! I think there are many interesting articles on this site, and YouTube channels - Autism from the inside - Paul Micalleff. There is also one channel in German Tom Harrenforf. If you speak German, I recommend. If not, I don’t know maybe there is an option on YouTube to watch with subtitles but his channel is only in German without subtitles. 

After a good deal of thought about the subject, I have come to the conclusion that my camouflaging is as much part of myself as my autism is. Masking/camouflaging are, in essence, survival strategies for autistic people in the allistic world. As such, mine were built up through observing society and other people over my lifetime and are, in some cases, 'hard won achievements'. As long as they do not cause me distress, discarding them would be counterproductive, so I have made no effort to do so. Personally, I think the concept of unmasking is meaningless to me, just another pressure on autistic people to behave in a certain way, and we have more than enough of those.

Welcome Jimmy! Newbie here as well. I am on this journey of unraveling, unpacking and understanding myself each and every day. I read the book Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price and reading tons of other materials and watching videos to hear other people's experiences. More and more I am realizing "feeling lost" is part of the process and practicing how to validate every emotion, experience, and response as a normal when for so long I have been focused on "what is wrong with me?" and trying to fix it.

I have found this forum very comforting and affirming. The people here have been helpful, fun to unpack things, and create some great dialogue about any and all topics. 

Be compassionate with yourself, take your time, and get to know yourself with new lenses.  

Much Gratitude for you and glad you are here!

Welcome to the community Jimmy!

Congratulations on your diagnosis. Give yourself plenty of time to learn about autism and what your diagnosis means to you; and what unmasking looks like. It has taken me around a year to begin to even accept my diagnosis, but everyone is different. The fact you’re on this forum and have bought a journal is all very good steps to take. 

I found YouTube channel “adult with autism” most helpful when I was diagnosed, as I relate to him the most. But there are lots of other really good YouTube channels out there. 

I’ve also been diagnosed with ADHD, and have found podcasts such as “ADHD chatter” really helpful. 

Hi and welcome to the forum, and seasons greetings!

ChestersDad said:

But seriously how hard is it to know what is the real you and what is stuff you've been masking?! 

I completely agree, and so I gave up on this one haha.

But hi Jimmy, welcome to the forum. I've been journaling for almost a year and it continues to be one of the highlights of my day, it's a great way to unwind and reflect, so I'm glad you've also began to write things for yourself.

Have a good Christmas

Patrick

Hey Jimmy, 2 great books / audiobooks that initially helped me was Untypical by Pete Wharmby and Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things by Pierre Novellie. They are both later diagnosed people writing about their experiences. They both hit home throughout. Made me feel both rooted and accepting of my diagnosis although like you, I’m very recent and got a long way to go to start understanding / believing that it’s not been all my fault all these years!

Hi!

I’m fairly new here myself, but so far everyone has been so nice and helpful. Sounds like you have lots to discuss and I’m looking forward to some interesting topics you could bring up. 

ChestersDad said:

Remembering stuff from the past that has really affected me but I've put on a brave face.

Hello Jimmy and welcome to the site.

This processing of past experiences is something I would recommend doing with a therapist who is experienced in dealing with autistic patients as we often don't handle conventional therapies well (thinkgs like CBT seem to only work for some).

The therapist will be trained on helping you "unpack" these old experiences and process them in light of your diagnosis - and help you come to terms with the traumas these caused so you can accept them and learn the lessons you can.

Are there any issues specifically you want to discuss to understand more about?