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working on change in core features of autism - is it worth the effort?

Phased

Hi all :-)

I'm two years into being ASD type 1 diagnosed and 60 years old.  I am slowly getting to understand what that means and the implications of it.

I am now wondering just how much autistic people can change in the expression of core features that define the condition.  Is it worth the effort to try or should one instead work on being "authentic" to one's true autistic self?

I suspect the reality will be a bit of both and finding one right answer might be impossible for now, nonetheless...

I've started a bit of analysis on this so far I've got this:

Just be your authentic autistic self – let your autism be free? 

 Advantages – less hard work cognitively, socially aligns oneself to other autistic people, be “true to yourself” and recognise self better has it's own reward

Disadvantages – problems with survival and thriving in neurotypical world

Potentially missing out on experiences and insights that would enhance and make life more meaningful

 

Change by adapting  Work hard and smart at learning to understand it – perhaps get the brain and behaviour to  both consciously or subconsciously do things to “fit in” to more neurotypical society and life.

Advantages less social conflict and increased potential for social “advancement”

Disadvantages This is in itself potentially “masking” behaviour so the risk of “losing oneself” might be higher

Relies upon “knowing oneself” and recognising other things that might be impossible for autistic people so really a waste of time and effort...

 

I would like to ask what is the knowledge and experience of other members in the community please - can you help with this analysis?

Parents

  • This is definitely one of the hardest topics that I think a lot of neurodivergent people face, especially late diagnosed (like myself).

    I've been wracking my brain trying to find neurodivergent-affirming therapy (NAT) service that doesn't cost a fortune and isn't a scam (because god forbid the NHS would provide suitable accessible therapy options for neurodivergent individuals, even though it's a requirement under the Equality Act 2010!).

    I was late diagnosed with ASD level 2 at the age of 34, after decades of my symptoms being put down to trauma, depression, anxiety, etc (technically I do have these, but they are symptoms of a much broader picture, not the root cause).

    I grew up in an environment of severe childhood trauma, and my emotions, needs, desires, etc were supressed for 'survival', which definitely blunted my growth as a person, so I barely have a concept of self or identity.

    When I look in the mirror, I don't really feel much; I recognise the face as one I've associated with 'mine', but it's a very odd and layered experience.

    I cannot separate pain, neurodivergence and trauma, they are merged and blurred, and I believe my concept of self and identity is somewhere under this, but getting to it is like trying to roller-skate up hill.

    I desperately want to meet the person I was supposed to be, and develop her into a happy neurodivergent adult, but without therapy from a seriously well informed person, I really don't see it happening...

  • in reply to Lillibet

    I have found that the best therapy is to be in zoom groups with others like me as we seem to be the only ones who really understand us. It gives me a break from thd stress of trying to fit in and conform. (I don't like the term masking.) Best one so far has been thd Autistic Elders Zoom Group which you can Google. It may look as ic it has folded but they are just sorting out dates fir next year.

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  • in reply to Lillibet

    I have found that the best therapy is to be in zoom groups with others like me as we seem to be the only ones who really understand us. It gives me a break from thd stress of trying to fit in and conform. (I don't like the term masking.) Best one so far has been thd Autistic Elders Zoom Group which you can Google. It may look as ic it has folded but they are just sorting out dates fir next year.

Children