Hello.
I'm a 43 year old female who has struggled to make or maintain friendships all my life. I was bullied at school and have only ever had a very small circle of friends in school and uni. At work I struggled to socialise with my colleagues because they were quite loud and liked to drink a lot. They also fixated on my lack of love life which made me very uncomfortable, so I stopped going out with them and eventually stopped being invited.
Ill health and disability forced me to leave my career, and I managed to make a good friend after that, but it ended badly and I felt really used and confused. Since then I've had nobody. I thought I was happy with this situation, but I've come to realise how dangerously isolated I am. If anything happened to my parents I would literally be completely alone in the world, and that terrified me. Going out to meet new people terrifies me almost as much, I wouldn't know where to begin. If I went out with a hobby in mind, I'd be so engrossed in the task I'd likely make little effort to make friends.
I wonder if trying to get to know people in this community, who understands, might help. If anyone is interested feel free to get in touch or ask me some questions
