Is it just me?

If anyone asked me if I was normal, I would say, "No, I'm not 'normal', because I'm an autistic person, but you're  an unpleasant person because you are thoughtlessly insulting, I'd rather be autistic myself".

I can't wear make-up as I seem to be allergic to most of it. I love jewelery, but not girly little gold pieces or small pieces in general, I can't wear most gold because of the nickel content and it dosen't suit me.

I'd actually love to go on one of these make-over programes just to see how they'd find clothes that fit me properly and make-up that dosen't bring me out in a rash.

I was told I wasn't good enough to go to university too, I proved then all wrong, despite loads of opposition and went in my 40's.

Is being a "freak and a weirdo" such a bad thing? I'm embraced it and now find it disconcerting when people think I'm normal.

If people tell me I'm wrong just because I'm autistic, I either say something like 'yes dear, you can think that if it makes you happy' or I vigorously defend my views using my intellect and general knowlege.

I’m sure part of these comments are gender based. For example the “do make up” one. I hate make up because it feels terribly uncomfortable on my skin and because of make up and jewellery I get tics. The “self confidence” one may be related to trauma, generally I noticed many ND people struggle with it. Because we are different than NT people and struggle to fit in, so it’s quite logical.  I also heard a comment “don’t worry we will fix you we will make an attractive woman out of you” - those who said that didn’t probably mean anything bad, or they didn’t realise, how much it hurt. It hurt a lot, deeply and for long time. 

I can confirm that people do say these things to men. I don’t think gender is the root of the problem, it’s that the vast majority of people don’t have a clue what autism is.

TheCatWoman said:

I wonder why an intellegent man would want a stupid or uneducated woman?

I find intelligence very attractive. I think it would be very frustrating to spend my life with someone who wasn’t at least my intellectual equal.

I was once asked if I was normal because the person asking thought all people with ASC are severly effected by it and anyone who's able to do things by themselves must be OK. I don't understand this as I'm not OK with everything there are things I really struggle with, often the assumptions of ignorant others.

AH, Golly that lot took me back, one fo the good things about being older is people no longer say that sort of stuff to me, mind you, I'm rarely in the sort of situations where people would say that sort of thing to me, I don't go to parties, cinema or anything. I did used to get "helpful" men trying to tell me how to be so as they or more likely a friend might be attracted to me. One of the strangest I got was about my height, I'm 5'10", couldn't I do something about it, like go on some sort of diet? I've heard of many diets but never one that would make me lose several inches in height.

I'm wondering about how much of this is gender based, do people say the same things to men? I guess they do about confidence and maybe not taking everything so seriously, but men seem to be allowed to be serious more than women.

The comments about intellegence to those of us who are outwardly high functioning are difficult, I often feel like saying, 'Yes, I'm really intellegent, probably far more so than you', but I don't because I don't want to get into stuff like that with a casual aquaintance or someone I don't know well or at all and partly because I'm afraid of being told that if I'm that intellegent then I can think my out of Autism. In the UK intellegence and being thought of as intellectual is frowned upon, especially in women, old ideas about education and intellegence equating to not wanting or being able to have children are still around and ideas that men don't want an intellegent woman, I wonder why an intellegent man would want a stupid or uneducated woman?

Even long before autism came onto my radar and even before I realised I was gay, I constantly had people saying things to me like “be quiet, be silent, we are telling you that you are wrong and you do not understand that you are wrong, you need to be heard less and seen more, empty vessels make the most noise, you are hopeless and heedless, your viewpoints are invalid and nonsense because we say so and regardless, we are always right” - after my autism diagnosis (during Covid) in 2021, I realised that because of my life experiences, I was rendered more immune than most from the mind control, manipulation, indoctrination, brainwashing, mass hypnosis that most people had been subjected to from birth including myself, even (supposedly) “intelligent” people (especially from universities, that I had never been allowed to attend, as I was considered “too stupid” for) and even the (supposedly) “sentient beings” that became especially clear to me during Covid, that I realised that by comparison, I was far more firmly grounded in reality and truth than other people were and that I was able to view facts in a truly objective manner without all the noise and nonsense, difficult on an emotional level though that was, seeing everyone else collapse into the nonsense - I still get the line now since my diagnosis that by reason of my autism, my viewpoints are seen as invalid, nonsense and are therefore disregarded and that for attempting to take a stand in defence of objective truth based on facts, I’m still regarded as a freak and a weirdo, am accused of being “negative” and of being “hypocritical” 

I am impressed

I’m sorry, I’m not German I’m polish, speaking English, German, Russian and of course my first language- polish. I love languages, each has unique scent and taste and they are or were my very intense hobbies, giving my life beautiful colours. 

Are you German? I didn’t realise

Thank you. If I get dx one day (if I’m autistic, maybe I will get it) then I’m sure, I would have heard the “you don’t look autistic” comment. But colleagues at work reacted differently. They said, now it makes sense. But it’s a different story, I wrote some post before. 

Alien0n3arth said:

i draw pictures of my own thoughts, experience etc. 

It’s states: you have to toughen up, you have to smile more. You have to look more feminine, you have to do make up, you have to be more self confident, you have to spend more time with people, you have to go somewhere, cinema or party, you have to stop taking everything so seriously, and on top: what’s wrong with you?! - the question of my life. I got used to it. 

Brilliant

i draw pictures of my own thoughts, experience etc. 

It’s states: you have to toughen up, you have to smile more. You have to look more feminine, you have to do make up, you have to be more self confident, you have to spend more time with people, you have to go somewhere, cinema or party, you have to stop taking everything so seriously, and on top: what’s wrong with you?! - the question of my life. I got used to it.