37 years old, recently dignosed and figuring it out

Ahh, I ordered that book the other day!

Good choice, not worth persisting with past those first few pages!

Correct. I got it off Amazon while I was in Australia working and still returned it half way round the world after the first few pages. 

"one fella trying to wedge sexual orientation into ASD"... was the book "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price? If so, I agree, that book is not particularly helpful (being polite!).

This all sounds interesting and I've found paths seem to be tailored to help peopke function in society to an average level rather than those are are performing at a high level in industry or want to  perform at a high level and need a few helpful tweaks. 

If I can find a specialist that has functional solutions then that will be really helpful I think as it's a case for me of how do I perform better and understand if I am burnout otherwise I just jeep going trying to get things done that is on my plate.

Sounds like a few late similarities on people here. 

Brilliant, please do!

There is very little support, nothing in my area, only for adults with learning difficulties. I especially think there's a connection between late diagnosed adults who had no help throughout school and grew up in hostile workplace environments but couldn't understand why.

You've found out what barriers you face through years of battling through. Employers can be so ignorant. As you can tell, I haven't had a good history of work!! I could rant about it all day :-)

 Cloud44 since the last message I’ve gone into overdrive on how this can be achieved. I believe that we could make this happen. Where we all meet either online or face to face and help each other. 
there is no help or very little for “high functioning” adults or teens with autism!!!

im going to make this happen!!

I would love to meet a group of people who all 'get it', that's the therapy we really need - a group of understanding people who don't expect you to live up to NT expectations.

Thanks Cloud44 yeah o do find alcohol gives me some kind of brain switch off for a while but the next few days are horrible.

there should be a ND counselling group we could all go to!! I love helping people that’s one of my strengths so maybe I could go off and train????  
start a group for everyone

It's such an affirming experience to finally find out why your life has been difficult or why you struggled with things other people seemed to find easy. 

I have a similar story to you. Stopped working after being more than burnt out to be honest, it was more like a breakdown in the end. Counselling doesn't work for me because they just don't seem to get my point of view, a ND counsellor would be amazing but they're so expensive. 

I wish I could stay out of work but will have to go back at some point. I've vowed never to put up with the way I was previously treated again though. I will disclose and if they don't want me, that's fine, I'd rather not work and live on basics than be in that situation again (very bad workplace bullying). 

I'm working on understanding that some of the problems were caused by misunderstanding and communication, so I'd rather be honest and open in the future so people know if I've said something they deem too blunt or haven't understood what they meant, I'm not doing it on purpose to antagonise them. 

Well done with giving up the alcohol. I know I used it a lot to cope with 'networking' and work functions. Again, I plan to change that in the future and find the ability to say no.

I naively thought that I would be supported but told that if I was autistic I should know what barriers and challenges that I face in the workplace. A really awful thing to say to someone just diagnosed as autistic at age 53. For almost all of those years I had not even contemplated that I may be autistic.

As you say the workplace politics are akin to to a school playground but only with adults that should know and act better. 

Fingers crossed, I hope you get the accommodations you need. It's a shame more workplaces can't accept that ND people work really well if we're left alone and treated well. All we ask is to be treated well. That's all.

Hi,

I can totally relate to this, I used to work for the NHS and was pretty much bullied out. The workplace politics are awful. 

Good morning and welcome to the club!!!!

I as in the same situation where I thought there was no way I was autistic. My daughter had been diagnosed so as support I thought I may aswell have a dabble as I have always struggled throughout my life, and bam, concrete evidence in every department in my diagnosis. So my other daughter who again we thought there was no chance of ASD and as also diagnosed.

i went for counselling and to be honest by the end of the sessions I just lied about my burnout and struggles as she didn’t get it.

i have gone on a self healing and discovery journey this year, I haven’t worked since January after working my whole life. I wish I could keep it this way.

so I have committed a lot of my time to me, fitness, ice baths meditation etc 

I olay a lot of golf to quite a good standard so have hyper focused on that. 
I know I have to go back to work at some point but the break has brought me out of my burnout.

as for help? You’re in the best place, don’t be down heartened by the lack of support and understanding. I thought being diagnosed I would feel different or wake up and go oh I’m autistic. But you have been you for 37 years and myself 41 there is no way I would ever change anything. I embrace that I’m different and I have a great excuse no to socialise when I’m not in the mood. I spend a lot of time by myself and I’m currently on a 28 day detox from alcohol as that’s the only thing I think makes me feel normal. So I want to do a stint and embrace my autism. Alcohol has made me feel so bad over the years and now I’m feeling the benefits of not drinking.

if you ever want a chat, have any questions I will always be here!!!

One day you will embrace it, after all the questions and doubts about yourself. 
job wise, you got to do something you love or are actually interested in, as long as you have enough for the billls and food, what else do you need??

be happy 

Hi and welcome to the 'Latelings' club.

The lack of support is a joke. It costs to buy support.

My experience with my work has been really dreadful. It seems that I am to be tossed aside and to find a new role as my manager will not or cannot fulfill my requests for reasonable adjustments. I am 2 years on from disclosing my suspected ASD and over a year and a half since diagnosis (private).

The most galling thing is that I work for the NHS and am being treated as a leper. So much for the caring profession.

I may have just got the start of success with access to work (after it taking 6 months to be seen). The person who assessed was really amazing and had recommendations for all sorts of help, apps and tech which might help. As I understand it my company won't need to get involved as less than 49 people so I'm skeptical about who is going to pay for it all.

Will see how it goes. 

I know I'm late responding, but I've just joined the forum. We're a similar age (I'm early forties) and just wanted to say your story resonates with me, dropping out of uni, struggling with jobs etc. I got an Asperger's diagnosis years ago but I've only recently come to terms with it. When I got it, there wasn't really any support out there, you were diagnosed and got on with your life. Did you manage to find any support groups? The only groups near me are for adults with learning disabilities. It's a shame there isn't more out there for us late diagnosed, probably high masking, adults. I would recommend watching Orion Kelly on YouTube though, he is great. His video about how to unmask as a late diagnosed adult is brilliant. Although I was diagnosed years ago, I was still thirty years old so it was still very late.

I can relate to your situation having found out at age 44 after paying fir assessment.

I'm reading some books (some annoying as they focus on the author's angle or one fella trying to wedge sexual orientation into ASD), tried NHS its just been a brick wall still they just signpost and I hit dead ends, lots of sign posting which turns out to be wasted effort, been trying private psychiatrist and just ended it since it was very much as I'd expect from a text book of turning the sentence back on yourself to find the answers and ultimately frustrating so far.

Happily pay someone that can really help in a good will hunting way and not just go by the textbook for answers. So far not been a great change and not found coping mechanisms for situations which I think would really help.

Waiting for access to work which has been around 6 months so far  it's just shocking there seems to be no recognised help.

Annoyingly I have Bupa private med now who won't have anything to do with it. 

Hi gkimmelman, and welcome to the online community!

There are some advice pages and resources here on the NAS site you might find useful having just been diagnosed. There is a section on the advice hub called 'After Diagnosis' - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/after-diagnosis - which has some discussion on how you might feel post-diagnosis, support that is available, and disclosing your diagnosis to other people, including at work.

There is also a section on getting support at work specifically - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/employment/support-at-work/autistic-adults - which covers some of your rights under the law and has links to further resources on autism in the workplace.

And with regard to support groups, the Autism Services Directory can help find local organisations and services across the UK - https://www.autism.org.uk/autism-services-directory - and can be filtered for your postcode and the type of services you're interested in, so you could try putting in social groups in London for example.

Hope this is of some help,

Ross - mod