Signs of autism in your childhood

As a child, I created rich imaginary worlds and directed play with my siblings, where I would instruct them how to act out my stories. I pretended it was' the front room theatre company'. I liked the feeling of control it gave me. I continued to enjoy imaginary play beyond the age it was considered stereotypically appropriate. Around the age of 12 or 13, I was pretending to explore imaginary landscapes with individual friends and then documenting these adventures through writing and drawing.

I wrote stories constantly, filling notebooks with details about my worlds, drawing maps of them, and even creating my own languages, drawing sigils and badges, writing lists of common names and their meanings, and coming up with folk holidays and traditions.

I focused on intense 1-1 friendships throughout my childhood rather than a larger group. Our activities were mainly creative based, such as devising magazines or making dolls houses. One of these friendships ended abruptly in primary 5 and I did not understand why. I struggled to successfully interact when friendship groups became the norm in later secondary. I tended to get on better with people either older or younger than me, rather than my peers.

I was bullied in primary one to the point that my head got hit off a stone wall and I lost consciousness, but didn't tell anyone because I just accepted it as part of school life. Also a classmate once threatened to tell on me because I was 'colouring in the wrong way.' We were told to colour in a square. I had divided the square into 4 sections and coloured each one in individually. I was terrified of getting in trouble so I watched everyone else and copied how they were doing it.

I was called an 'old soul' often as a child. This seems to be a common thing for many (but not all) autistic people.

I couldn't cope with all the after school activities and going to play at a friend's house. On one occasion my mum had to come pick me up because I was hiding under my friend's bed and wouldn't come out. After that she stopped all my extra curriculars because she saw it was too much for me.

I collected semi precious stones and pottery from the beach, and arranged them very particularly, and got annoyed if people moved them.

I didn't understand good-natured teasing (that marks you as part of a group). I took it that I had done something wrong that made me stand out and took care to never do the thing that got me teased again.

Edit: I was also sensitive to the (carbolic!) soap at my nursery and had to bring in my own special soap. 

Unknown said:

Tiptoe walking which I did into my young adulthood

My son does this, I asked him why and he said it feels good. 

I share a lot of what you mentioned. Obviously still not diagnosed yet but that’s hopefully 10 months from now. 

Always feel like I struggled to find certain words when pressured.

Made up my own words and used to call people with made up names (I still make up words sometimes)

Sensitive to smells most others find nice, mainly air fresheners, hairspray, scented candles, diffusers and those stick things hanging out of pots.

Always chewed my skin around my nails and inside my mouth (still do)

Always struggled to settle to sleep.

very fussy with food and texture although have massively turned this around after my mid 20’s. Still have a strange relationship with food though. 

Used to collect toy cars, toy soldiers and motorcycle stickers. 

"Quiet and conscientious, needs to participate more in class" (but I wouldn't raise my hand to answer a question unless I was 100% certain that I had the right answer).

I too had a limited diet and was seen as a fussy eater. I had to do certain tasks in a exact way or I would get upset. I saw a picture of me aged about ten and you can see I have all my cars and Lego projects all lined up. 

In case anyone is interested in reading about this retrospectively, here is an NHS link to signs of autism in children:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/signs/children/

SpikeyMark said:

(an aside: If you ever end up in hospital, I'd recommend it be something contagious and dangerous, as I was in isolation which was relative bliss compared to other hospital stays)

I agree

My last time was with Covid.

Tiptoe walking which I did into my young adulthood.

Yeah, I couldn't go to a riding school either, because it was too expensive. But when I was 14 I made friends with a girl in my maths class whose family was well off and she had her own horse that she taught me to ride on, in exchange for me.giving her guitar lessons!

I hated PE and was really bad at it because of dyspraxia, it was worse at secondary school, I could not do the gymnasium stuff like rope climbing or vaulting and I was really stif in my body. Hockey, netball and tennis were bad too and as for athletics I don;t even want to go there.

I was never an autodidact like Pixie though, and it never occured to me that you could teach yourself to do things.

I had a model horse collection too and a model stable and farm, I think many girls of about 8 or 9 did, it seemed to be a fashion then I don't know if it still is? I was never allowed to go riding though, too dangerous and expensive. Oddly enough pretty much everything was too dangerous and expensive.

This isn't childhood, but somehow it still fits (I think?)

I got salmonella once in Barcelona. I had all the usual stuff of not being taken seriously (even by my wife - girlfriend at the time) because it doesn't 'show'. I don't look like I'm suffering enough. I had to endure coming back to the UK despite wanting to crawl into a hole to die. To try to avoid unpleasantness - let's just say that I was rushed to hospital several days later with lots of blood coming from where it shouldn't.

(an aside: If you ever end up in hospital, I'd recommend it be something contagious and dangerous, as I was in isolation which was relative bliss compared to other hospital stays)

A few days later when I was starting to recover, the consultant gave me a 'poo chart' which I was instructed to fill in with all my bowel movements and details.

A few days after that, when he looked over it with my then-girlfriend present, they both were laughing their heads off. The consultant says to me - you are very thorough, aren't you?!

While, I did see the funny side, I still felt aggrieved - I wasn't obsessed with my bodily functions like they were implying, I was just following the instructions as I'd been given! I didn't care about my movements, I was following doctor's orders!

It still winds me up (and also makes me laugh at the same time) to think about it.

Rant over - to the only people who would understand this sad but comical episode of my life.

I was very in control even in nursery. If I was doing 'imaginative games' I was in control always or I wouldn't do it.

In primary school I really struggled socially, and as far as I was concerned adults were Right and so would repeat things faithfully that adults said around me and would then get in trouble for it :/ 

I was completely unable to watch films, the suspense was too stressful. My parents had to go into the school when I was 5 and tell them to let me read and stop forcing me to watch films

Meltdowns were present, mostly related to big events when I was around a lot of people

Sensory sensitivities got worse as I got older.

Stimming got more prominent as I got older and try to put myself in more difficult for me situations because I felt I should manage it.

People began to properly bring it up to me and my parents when I moved to secondary school, but it still took until I was 20 to get diagnosed. 

GuybrushThreepwood said:

even though I was at the top of the class/school.

Me too in the senior school.

A few of the boys in primary school called me a slur directed at the intellectually disabled (starts with M) and made durrrrrr noises  even though I was at the top of the class/school. Of course being a girl in the early 90s you just got the classic they’re mean because they fancy you

Thank you for all your replies which I am reading.

Very interesting.

Apparent delay in speaking (according to my mum) - put down to ‘perfectionist’ attitude, but I know it’s really not that. I don’t care about being perfect, I just struggle to assemble my thoughts into coherent sentences and knowing ‘when’ to speak. Accused of copying others at school as teachers couldn’t understand that I was crap verbally, but ok when writing.

Intense attachment to things of interest ie specific toys

Attachment to people, friends at school, that was interpreted as too clingy

Problems forming romantic relationships when teenager and young adult ie read signs incorrectly, but didn’t know why

Always loved foods as a comfort thing so more like an intense interest in different foods rather than any aversion

Kids seemed more accepting of difference at primary school, but started to feel more alienated at secondary school when my ‘quirks’ became red flags for bullies. Lost some of my uniqueness in those years but gradually returning to it now after decades of masking

Headaches, headaches, headaches that were interpreted as an attempt to get out of classes, but they really weren’t

Looking back now, I think I can see some signs. My best friend as a boy was 6 years younger than me, so when I was about 8 he would have been around 2-3. I was really happy, but that is a pretty strange age gap.

I was exceptionally tidy as a child. Not obsessive, just keeping things in their correct place. I thought that was normal and all children grew to understand they had to look after their things... until I've spent every week for years convincing my own 3 children to tidy their rooms and not understanding why I have to repeat this every single time.

I did experience some emotional shutdown while I was waiting for my exam results, I just could not talk to anyone about anything because I was so anxious. It got to the point where both my parents told me off because they were fed up of me not communicating even simple things, and they never told me off for anything because I always followed "the rules" (another sign perhaps).

I hated all the usual activities boys are supposed to enjoy (football being a particular one for me) and enjoyed all the things that no one else cared about. I remember at a camp once when I was around 13-14, the leaders were playing old cartoons on a projector. I was laughing along to them because I really liked cartoons, but my friends pointed out that the kids on the table next to us were laughing at me not with me, so I learned that it wasn't cool to enjoy what I liked anymore.

University was the worst though, I lived in halls of residence for 3 years (I doubted I could have house shared with anyone). I would avoid everyone I could, so I would listen out for people in the hallway of my room and wait until it was empty, so I wouldn't have to meet or talk to anyone. Even if I did I avoided everyone's gaze. Longest 3 years of my life.

Being called a F U ****G.  S P A S T I C  by my classmates at school.

What I now see as signs of autism are not typical (or should I say, not atypical!)

I had no speech delay as far as I'm aware, ate pretty much every food put in front of me (although no choice in the 1960s, you are what you were given or went hungry and were shamed by being told people were starving in other countries). I slept well, in fact I always struggled to get up for school. I always read well - I don't have many memories before age 7, but I do remember reading "The cat in the hat" at infant school, and I can't remember ever not being able to read! I wasn't obviously dyspraxic either, as I do know I could write my name before I started school (and my real name has 7 letters),

The things I now see as autism "clues" are:

I had an imaginary friend pre-school, and she was an adult. (I preferred talking to adults rather than kids)

I found school anxiety inducing and overwhelming, was bullied for a bit, and didn't achieve my potential. I was a "daydreamer" who sat in the reading corner as much as I could in Junior school, then in secondary school  tried to sit as far back as possible and was very quiet in classes. I hated PE as I couldn't throw or catch a ball and was no good at running or jumping over things.(poor gross motor skills) I have always got tired quickly - the sleeping well as a child I believe was autistic burn out from being overwhelmed at school.

I found it difficult to make and keep friends, and generally wasn't invited to parties (and the couple of times I was, I got sick with anxiety and couldn't go) but I quite liked time on my own, reading, drawing, colouring, building with Lego, making little farms with little plastic farm animals. I collected costume dolls when I was younger, then at 11 got obsessively interested in horses and music, and started a model horse collection and taught myself to play guitar. 

None of these things were seen as autism in those days though, and I just thought I was sensitive.

Reports tended to repeat things like 'Should make more effort to actively participate in class discussions'. Various teachers seemed surprised at my repeated good performance in tests and exams.