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Not wanting friends?

Autisguy

I’m a 22 year old autistic adult and I think I don’t like having friends. I agree to plans but on the day I hate that I have to go. I’d rather do things alone. I feel most content on days where I’m alone with my close family and/or dog. My close family is all I need. Friendships feel too exhausting for me. The more I unmask, the more I realise things about myself, and I think I’m just discovering this one. Of course it makes me feel bad but I can’t change the way my brain works. I don’t want to sound like a bad person. Is there any autistic adults on here who feel the same? I don’t know who to talk to about this. 

  • in reply to Lyn

    I do this all the time. I'm going to a photo exhibition tonight, and I'm already dreading saying something stupid and ruminating about it afterwards.

  • in reply to Autisguy

    Yes it's really confusing. 

  • We're all different, but if you feel that you don't enjoy spending time with your friends, then I don't think this is something you should feel bad about. There are many people who prefer being in their own company doing their own thing.

    To my mind, if the thought of spending time with your friends fills you with dread, then maybe they aren't the best people to be friends with.

  • in reply to Lyn

    This is exactly what I’m talking about! I feel like I’d be better off without any friends but then I’m scared I’ll regret it if I become friendless. It’s such a hard one to figure out. 

  • in reply to Lyn

    Also when I do force myself to go and meet up with people I usually come back regretting an overshare moment or ruminating about what I said what they said and feel unhappy. 

  • Yes I am the same I think I should make friends and make an effort so I make arrangements, but when the time draws near I really wish I hadn't made the plan. Staying at home with my hubby or when I had my darling dog, him too, is /was bliss and 100% better every time. 

    I am starting to realise that I  need to think more before I make arrangements. But also don't want to be friendless. 

    I really don't know what the answer is to this one. I find it so confusing. 

  • in reply to Kazu

    I get this too, I can make arrangements ok, but then as the day draws closer the heebie jeebies I get, until I become almost paralysed with apprehension, it dosen't matter that I like the people I'm meeting or whatever.

    I have few friends tooa dn this is by choice, I just don't feel the need for more, I think this is quite common for autists

  • I have about 4 actual friends. Some of them I haven't seen for over a year. Friendships with people that don't get me are exhausting and I try to find excuses to not see these people, which I think often comes across as rude.

    I think doing things alone is way underrated. Before I met my partner I used to travel alone a lot and enjoyed it a lot more than travelling with other people. It's tiring having to voice your needs continuously to people that will not understand them.