Newly diagnosed & flailing

Hi Inula. You're so right: it is worth having, at any time. I'n glad of it, and more - i'm actually quite proud of my distinction. Not only can i begin to make sense of who i am, and forgive myself much more easily now for all those things - my errors of judgement, the choices i made, the ill-advised decisions - i've done in my past, i am beginning to own myself, and recognise that there are also advantages as well as disadvantages to being 'spicy', as i once heard someone say of themself. I am distinct from the crowd, i can read people and situations, and i do have an artistic mind because of, not in spite of my autism. I think, in a way, that once i've spoken to more people like me, and shared experiences with you all, it will be a 'homecoming', of sorts. I hope you continue to make new sense of your life, and rediscover who you are, as i am doing. I keep using the word, 'distinct': it's what i believe we are. Not disabled; not divergent: we have the distinction of being autistic.

All the best to you.

Hi Martin

Sorry for the late reply - like many others I've had issues getting on to the forums recently. I just wanted to say congratulations on getting your diagnosis - although it can be tough getting to grips with a late diagnosis I certainly believe it's worth having and even when we find out rather late in life it can help answer so many questions. It was my daughter who "gently" pointed out that I might be autistic while she was on her own journey of discovery. I was a bit startled at first and thought it was a ridiculous notion to be 62 and not know something so fundamental about myself - but when I started to do my research my life experiences started to make sense

18 months on and I'm still unpacking what it all means and you're right - there doesn't seem to be much help out there in the real world. For now I'm having to content myself with virtual communities like this one. 

Inula

Hi Sassetta. You've just more-or-less described my journey too. After a lifetime spent in therapy a very insightful counsellor saw all the signs and not only encouraged me to get an assessment but helped me along the way. I think of her as my lighthouse on stormy seas. I'm still struggling - perhaps even more now, though i've heard this isn't uncommon, as people post-diagnosis 'allow' their divergency to become a part of their make-up - but, again like you, on my good days i see it as something special, or extra. I'm actually quite proud of my 'spiciness' (as an acquaintance called it) - it's not a superpower but it feels like a distinction, an added ability. Thank you for your reply - i was beginning to think i was being ignored here too. All the best to you.

Hi Martin , welcome to the online community! We hope that you enjoy chatting to the other members  You may find it useful to have a look at our page on after diagnosis: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/after-diagnosis. 

Best wishes,

Anna Mod

Hi Martin,

I know this isn't advice about organisations. I don't really know where to turn either to be honest. Just been diagnosed this year aged 60, and I really get that the diagnosis is a huge thing to process. the biggest shock came when my daughter suggested I was autistic - I thought that was a terrible thing, but then I had no real idea what was wrong or knew much about Autism. Then the diagnosis process felt as if for the first time someone understood me, depsite having had counselling in the past, before the diagnosis because of my struggles, where I thought I was depressed or something. I do feel alone processing all of this,  like you, it really is a massive discovery. But I think it's really important for me to remember and really look at my past struggles in this new light, and keep learning. I feel as though I have increasingly more understanding and more 'agency'. I'm daring to think that even at this late stage it's a kind of gift of insight I never had before.