Viewing houses causing anxiety

It might be even more scary, but I think Location, Location, Location are looking for more house hunters to help, so if going on telly isn't as scary as looking on your own it might be worth a go.?

Hi, I’m new here. It’s nice to read through the good advice that you’ve received.

I’m not exactly in the same position, but my partner and I are looking to move rentals and as much as I know that it will be a good thing, I’m scared of the change. Recently we were looking at a house literally just around the corner but I just got overwhelmed.

I also see myself as the weak link as I’m not working and it’s hindering our chances of being accepted anywhere. 

Anyway, I understand some of what you are feeling and I hope you find a lovely home soon

Becky said:

Always happy for advice too.

I have a slightly different perspective on this than most as I move home about twice a year and buy flats every 3-4 months as renovating / selling is my livelihood.

I can get a really good idea about the condition of a flat / house withing an hour so long as I can access any spaces like the attic or under the floor (where there is no more floors underneath) - all the main types of issues are common and pretty easy to spot so if you are serious about a place then forget about the survey from mortgage companies - these are not worth the cost in my opinion.

Instead get a well recommended builder and hire them for an hour to look through the place with you to pick up on what looks out of place, what the common points of damp are going to be (they can take a damp meter and thermal camera to confirm these) and they will know where to test for bouncy floors (rotting joists often cause this), sloping floors (subsidance - easily tested with a marble) and can tell by looking at the fuse box wiring and plumbing to see if the work done before was of a decent quality.

If any work needs doing then the builder can give you a ballpark price for the work (specifics will only be known once the work is underway and the extent of any damage is uncovered) so you can make a sensible stab at budgeting.

For the whole anxiety thing around the move, I found it incredibly beneficial to conquer it by planning, planning some more and preparing - effectively taking control of the things you worry about. You can typically reduce risk by a high factor by using risk management techniques - you need to think through all the possible risks in a move and plan to do one of the following:

For example for the move of furniture on the day you move in you may see the moving company not turning up as a risk, so you can:

1 - accept it. If it happens you will not be able to move until the company sort themselves out. Not recommended for such an important issue

2 - avoid it. Get your own hire van a few days before and use your own family / friends to do the move.

3 - mitigate it. Include a clause in the contract with the movers to bring in someone else at their expense if it they fail you.

4 - transfer it. Take out an insurance policy that pays for any costs of a delay in the move - it needs to cover the effects further down a chain if you are using one.

This all comes from Project Management techniques used in business and I have worked on loads of projects where this has made life a lot more predictable.

It takes time to work through every element of the whole project but by taking charge of it you can regain control and capture all the things that are likely to cause pain - and will already know what to do in any given situation and this should help your peace of mind.

You can start now without even having a place to buy and systematically work through your home to get rid of stuff that you don't use or need - be ruthless as selling or donating it sooner will mean less hassle to pack, move and unpack later, plus you are likely to have a little more spending money for a bottle of bubbles to pop to celebrate the new home

It is always going to be a pain in the bottom because of the inconvenience but there is no need to make it stressful when you can take control.

Thank you so much TheCatWoman

This is all really helpful. And you are definitely right about the right house will feel right. We saw one yesterday and we both left thinking it was nice but today, when we spoke, there was just too much that wasn’t quite right. 

And thank you. I will trying and remember that my partner is choosing to do this with me and to celebrate that. 

I meant to add, you and your partner are different but equal when it comes to earnings, he may earn more than you, but you may have different skills to bring, you maybe more insightful or practicle about the whole thing. Remember your partner is choosing to take this huge step with you so they must be sure that it's the right thing to do and you're the right person to do it with, celebrate that.

Maybe have some chamomile tea before you go and view places, and/or take some rescue remedy with you in case you get a bit overwhelmed whilst you're there.

I often think houses choose us as much as we choose them, the right one will come along and everything will be fine, although it may seem a bit seat of the pants. I remember this well from house shopping for my parents who were in Eastbourne and needing to move up here, their house had sold and they were getting desperate, especially my Dad, who was king of the "what if's". I went to an estate agent just randomly looking and saw this house, went to see it, loved it, my parents came up 2 days later ad loved it too and moved in 8 weeks later, we're still here.

Moving is stressfull, it's horrible and few people enjoy it. My Dad always said get the best independent survey you can afford, don't rely on the building society one as they don't check much, there are different levels of survey, go for the most thorough, it could save you a lot of time and money in the future. I watch a lot of property programes and I've seen a lot of people who've not had a good survey find some horrors.

But first things first, do you know what areas you want to live in? Give them a good check out before you look at any houses, are they near to public transport and how frequent is the public transport? Does the area have the things you want nearby like pubs, restaurants, cinemas etc?

What sort of house would you ideally like? New build, Victorian, semi, terrace, a flat? Are there properties that fit your criteria in the areas you're looking in?

Do you want something you can just move into, unpack and thats it, or would you like a project and if you'd like a project, how much of a project, replacing kitchens and bathrooms are fairly simple, some walls are easier to move than others, depending on if they're load bearing or not.  Redecorating is usually easy enough, especially if you have the rght tools, such as wall paper steamers, you can hire these fairly cheeply.

One trick I learnt from watching Location, location location, is if you're unsure whether a bed will fit in a bedroom, lie down on the floor with your arms outstretched to the sides, if you fit so will a double bed, you will have to adjust measurements depending on how tall you are.

Try making a mood board or boards where you can try out different styles and colours depending on your tastes and the size of the house.

Most of all the right house will feel right, it might be old and in need of updating, but it may feel like a place where people have been happy and it justs needs a bit of TLC.

Good luck and I hope I've not scared you with this lot.

Hi Rob, thank you for reading and letting me know I’m not alone. We aren’t moving very far from where we currently are but we will have a visit to the area separately to check it out. Thank you for the advice. 

We’re currently living with my Mum so we aren’t having to sell too. Not sure how I’d be if we were! I hope everything goes well for you. 

Thank you again. 

I feel your pain, we are moving in a few weeks after 19 years here. Even for 'normal people' moving house is massivley stressful at any time. It is a lot of preassure deciding if you want to move somwehere and you are expected to decide in a few minuites. I would try and change how you view somewhere. Maybe go there the day before and look at the area so you are not bombarded by that as well. I massivley reasearched houses we looked at, mainly as its 180 miles away. Try and do the whole thing in a slow and measured way, ask for time on your own in the house maybe?

I would add that it really doesn't get any easier even when you have found somewhere. We are 3 months in and suddenley our buyer decides he wants a survey after relying on the mortgage company survey. I am sure it will all be fine but anxiety is through the roof. Assuming it is all well I then have to cope with moving everything and being in limbo for weeks in a new house that needs lots of work. Good luck with the whole thing.

Rob

Thank you for reading. I’m sorry you have been through the same feeling. 

Just wanted to say that I read this. No advice. My first ever panic attack was due to the thought of moving house and city.