Any success stories?

Accommodations are definitely important, you are protected by the equalities act, so legally your employer has to provide reasonable accommodations, but I do know it’s still scary to advocate, especially when you are still figuring it out for yourself

i was in the fortunate position where I wasn’t in need of a new job urgently, so it meant that I could be pickier about where I went in part based on how they reacted to my autism, like I had some weird interviews one where they asked if I was sure I was autistic and another where they got weirdly patronising mid interview when I offhandedly mentioned the reason I am in the field I’m in is because it works really well with the way my brain works with my autism, whereas the job I took (which had multiple up side not just the way they treated my asd) basically were super accommodating not just with the things I asked for but suggesting additional things that they thought might make me more comfortable and at ease at work and also in the transition into the new role

I know it can be daunting but the best advice I got given to make it easier for me to advocate for myself was accommodations just allow me to do my job more effectively and efficiently, so the relatively low cost to the business (I think mine cost about the equivalent of a day and a half of my wages) is worth it just in productivity improvements. Like my work have asked me more than once if there is anything else I need because they want me comfortable and happy because they want me to stay and want me to get work out. 

Agreed, recognizing and accepting one's own shortcomings is an important step. Still working on that, but I am making progress and have hope for the future.

Thanks!

Thanks for your input Andy, you clearly have made huge progress, which gives me hope.

Also, in this discussion, I see a trend towards people embracing their passions as a way to overcome anxiety and getting a sense of purpose.

Time for me to embrace my own passions? We'll see...

I couldn't agree more, that was exactly the thinking behind my choice to leave my previous company. What's the point of having a job that is rewarding money-wise, if that only leads to your mental health deteriorating?

Thanks and congratulations on your new life in Lincolnshire!

Thanks for sharing Sabrina, interesting point regarding accommodations at work.

That's something I would have been afraid to ask for in my previous job (but especially not knowing I was autistic yet), but in the light of my diagnosis, I now see how important that can be. I'll keep that in mind!

You don’t get to choose your parents……….

I was diagnosed about 3 years ago in my mid 20s, and having strategies in place allow allow me to do pretty well, but also have realistic expectations of myself, like I do need accommodations and some things are harder for me than they are for other people 

Like before I knew I was autistic I went to university and the major change and having no strategies in place lead to a mental health crisis, whereas now I have recently changed jobs for the first time and with accommodations in place I am thriving in the job (at least according to my manager) in my check in my weekly check in (one of my accommodations to make sure I know what is expected of me for the week ahead and make sure I haven't missed any unspoken expectations from other people) she was saying she was impressed at how quickly I have settled in and how well I am getting through my work, not because she had lower expectations because of asd but because I am actually just getting through my work quickly, and we literally were saying it is in part because of my asd that I am good at my job, not in spite of it). But I am only able to be doing well at my job because of a supportive work environment where they care more about me as a human than a diagnosis, and accommodations such as noise cancelling headphones, clear instructions and check ins. I am also just super open about my autism with my whole firm, which means I am not spending energy masking all day and I am not burned out by the end of the day which used to be a regular occurrence before I knew and embraced it.

Academically too, university went about as badly as it could have gone and I had to drop out of undergrad, but I am now 1 exam away from a level 7 professional qualification which is the equivalent of a masters.

For me, autism definitely means that I have limitations, but it also has things that I am better at because of such as things like my detail orientedness, and my pattern recognition.

I hope to be a sucess story soon. At the age of 49 I started to look at my mental health issues and came to the conclusion I have ADHD and autism, later confirmed. That was 2019-20, then lockdown came and I lost my dad, my mum had to go into care then she passed in 2023.That all totally broke me in 2020 and recovery has been a long road. My wife had a toxic job last year and we though we are done with all this. We are currently waiting to move into our new house in Lincolnshire. We will have no mortgage, money in the bank and am taking 6 months off work. After that I need just to get a min wage job.

I am now much kinder to myself, I push myself less and give myself more time. Living in the south east was too busy, too many money orentated people having to have the latest thing etc. I now say no to things I once did through gritted teeth, like big social events. Work has been my biggest issue, I just can't do what I did for 20 years, the anxiety of doing things wrong just overwhelms me. I also have a boss thats a pain which adds to the anxiety. 

I would say take time, think about things, take the preassure off yourself to be something you are not.I never had a plan for the future until reciently. Sadly this world is difficult in terms of money when these things happen and people just don't understand when you would like a few months off, or even give up work.

good luck.

Rob

At school, I couldn't seem to force myself to grasp teachers' instruction. This drew vexed urges for me to "listen." 

Frequently ridiculed, I lashed out, sometimes at minimal provocation. One teacher told me I was a horrible person. 

Of solitary bathroom visits, footballs and raised voices, I was inordinately timid.

On finishing a meal, I couldn't seem to force myself to stop being hungry. At the age of twelve, I apparently weighed about twenty stone. I grew up with the implied accusations of laziness, selfishness and cowardice.

Aged seventeen, for a hernia operation, I managed to lose some weight.

Aged twenty-two, I spoke with a psychiatric nurse. He explained that being on the autistic spectrum may cognitively disorientate, or bar desensitisation to things like getting shouted at. At this stage, I began an attempt at an autobiographical book about life on the autistic spectrum. 

Still unable to grasp technical instruction, the only job I ever held was at the small accommodation business on my dad's farm.

In my late twenties, my obsessive-compulsive disorder reached a point where I spent an average of nineteen hours in the bathroom. With the help of another psychiatric nurse, I managed to get it down to six.

Aged thirty-six, I self-published my book, "***" My website features some extracts, and a link to its Amazon UK page: [Link removed by moderator]

Still obsessive-compulsive, I've sometimes felt overwhelmed with sorrowful fear; mainly about whether I'll be able to help my parents in days to come. However, on my trusty Chromebook, I watch videos, listen to music, read books, and plan a series of fictional novels. I also enjoy walks, a bi-weekly drink with my parents, and eating. Anxiety may feel immutable, but that's what it wants you to think. There's only so much time to feel sad and scared - eventually, I suppose we've just got to get on with things.

All the best,

Andy 

[Edited by moderator]

Well said :-) All the best

hehe - mine is a story of success if it's about self-realisation - diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago. I'm 60  I now properly realise how much the environment I experience significantly effects me.  One person with ASD might change but the neurotypical world is still a pretty sh1tty one to navigate as it struggles to change with with grace and sustainability.  That work bit rings true with me too.  That's my biggest headache at the moment and getting into an environment that's healthier for me is taking up a lot of my run time.  So, working around limitations? - first thing is to identify with them - 2 1/2 years on and I'm coming out of denial - yes I'm not good with change unless its well organised and well considered, yes stress messes me up big time. These seem to be the 2 biggies for me .  I've masked the effect of them mostly from myself in the past until they were so insufferable I bust and my boundaries went,  .Realisng this seems already to be making the changes smoother and the bringing stress levels down without having to work at it.   Adapt and/or avoid seem to be the options at present.  all the best!

Esmere_Alda said:

cognitive functioning seems to be more like a spectrum for everybody. I take everybody else as unique like I take myself.

That's spot on, I wish everyone thought the same way as you... thanks for sharing!

Wow, that's quite the success story! It's great to see how you turned autism into a source of inspiration for your works. Thanks!

Thanks for the nice words, Kate. I can relate when you talk about your father's reaction to your diagnosis. It can be quite frustrating to go through the lengthy process of getting diagnosed, just for people around you to dismiss it.

In my case, I'm lucky in that some of my family and friends are slightly skeptical rather than openly scathing. After some discussion, they seem to be slowly accepting the possibility of me being in the spectrum.

I was diagnosed last year and I’m in my fifties. 
Like with so many things I’ve found there to be advantages but also some days I feel less positive about it. Overall I’d say I’ve benefitted from the diagnosis. I think it’s helped me to feel less judgemental of myself, and be a bit more forgiving of myself when I’m struggling with things that most people wouldn’t struggle with very much. Growing up in my family I was very much perceived as ‘weak’ and ‘over-sensitive’ - what I now know were autistic traits were viewed as character flaws by my birth family. This has caused me to have a lot of self esteem and confidence issues. However the diagnosis helped me to feel less self hatred and to realise that I’ve actually been working very hard to be the best person I can under quite difficult circumstances. However it’s quite hard to change a lifetime of negative self talk etc - so I still struggle. But the diagnosis has definitely helped me - and I’m very grateful for that. 
My mother is dead now but my father was scathing about the diagnosis and doesn’t recognise it at all. So that’s been hurtful. 
However I have a wonderful husband and children and they are very supportive and that’s what kept me going. 

In terms of ‘moving forward’ - I can see what you mean. I’ve had therapy for PTSD following a serious illness and it was helpful in general ways too. I think the better understanding we can have of ourselves the better our chances of living happier lives - and getting a diagnosis is a big part of that. It takes time and whilst we can’t solve all our problems we can definitely improve our approach to them and do better. Acceptance is important, and being forgiving of ourselves is important, as is hopefully having supportive people in our lives if possible. This community is very supportive too. I’ve also found buddhist teachings very helpful - they’ve helped me to see all sorts of things differently. It’s important to find ways to cultivate happiness in our lives.

I’ve always struggled with anxiety and that’s been my biggest difficulty - and I still get very overwhelmed with that. But we have to just try our best dont we? Because we deserve to be happy and to enjoy life - and life isn’t forever and we mustn’t waste the time we have. X 

That sounds very interesting and deserves to be celebrated 

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 60. I am now 64 and recently retired after having been a teacher for 32 years. I hold three degrees and two different teaching certifications. Had I not retired, I would have earned a third license by now but since I've retired, I see no point in finishing my special education credentials. 

To occupy my time, I maintain a blog about autism I have published two graphic novels about autism and am now working on my third. I am within 35,000 words of completing a 100,000 word fantasy novel that features an autistic protagonist. 

Hi there
Personally, I don't need a diagnosis.

I have always known, but have been resilient enough to comply with the non-neural divergent people around me.

Then with age, I discovered that cognitive functioning seems to be more like a spectrum for everybody. I take everybody else as unique like I take myself. I tried to renegotiate the terms on which we can live together and enrich each other. 

For people who consider it as a disability, meaning a lot of administration institutions tightly knit Groups of people I don't care anymore. I use the law To get my rights applied.

I felt vindicated, I always knew I coudn't help being weird, when I got my diagnosis I took great pleasure in saying, 'see I really couldn't help it!'

I'm sorry to hear things are not going well for you guys. How did your diagnosis make things worse? Did you start seeing yourselves under a different light, or is it something external that changed, like other people's attitude towards you?