I would like your opinion please

I am tempted. The anxiety i feel when engaging is making me unwell. Pretending I'm okay, when I'm not is damaging. I bought a large badge earlier this evening that says ' I have Autism and I'm damn proud'. Which I am. I just hope I'm brave enough to use it. When you have masked for more than 50 years, for fear of judgement or rejection, it's hard to go against it. 

I like your suggestions. Alternatively, can you let them know hiw you are feeling and why? 

I would maybe consider something like: I’m not rude, it’s just hard for me to suddenly find answers to your attempts to make small talk” 

maybe too long. But it describes why I’m so awkward when someone is trying to make small talk with me. Especially when they interrupt what I was doing or thinking (most of the time) and expect me to socialize which for me doesn’t make any sense. 
i also had to deal with gossipers at work, but I’ve sorted out quickly. I just sit and “grey stone” them, without any emotions, no reaction, they stop themselves. Or if someone start gossips about someone else from the company, I also sometimes answer something like “I like him/her” “ I think she/he is doing a good job” etc. then I get weird look and the person who was trying to make me engage into gossips stops talking to me and doesn’t do it anymore. This maybe awkwardness and honesty helped me win good colleagues at work who support me and trust me and treat with respect. They told me literally that they trust me because I don’t gossip. I didn’t have to do much to unmask to be honest. When I compare myself before and after realisation- there is not much difference. I got used to hearing “wrong with me” but I already know the answer. 
we deserve to be ourselves 

Thank you, this was really helpful x

Do you have to stay in there while your laundry is being washed? If you know how long it's going to take, can you put the wash on and then go back just before it is finished?

One thing I had to make myself understand in order to stop masking was that it really does not matter what others think. If you need to stay in the laundry room while your washing is done, I would not only wear headphones but would take a book or tablet with me to read/use while I waited. Your neighbours might not think you're rude - sometimes in the past I thought people were thinking something about me but it turned out I was wrong, they didn't care about what I had done/said at all. But even if they did think you're rude, so what? It's not your responsibility to make them happy. 

If things stay awkward for you, the only other thing I can suggest is to try to move to another apartment where you can have your own washing machine.

Good luck

Hi Pixiefox

It's a communal laundry room in my building. I've struggled with this since I moved in more than 2 years ago. I think they'd think I was rude if I now started wearing headphones. Or changed my behaviour now. I try and be as polite as I can. But I dread going down there. There are strict usage times, so I can't use it late at night when it would be quiet. And there's isn't a laundrette nearby. I don't drive and have mobility issues. 

I like your slogan. 

What are the situations where you have to listen to gossip and problems or make conversation?

If it's at work, explain to your employer that you're autistic and so need a quiet workspace and ask if it's possible to be moved to a quieter area, if not can you use headphones? I would not wear a slogan hoodie to work, it may be frowned upon. Just try to learn to be polite but brief in small talk - If someone asks how your weekend was, just say "good, thanks" and move on, don't ask them about theirs. If they try to gossip, just say "sorry, I have a lot to do - I really must get on"

If it's in your social life, stop seeing the people that are gossiping. Look for groups you can join where you will share an interest with others, so that you can talk about something interesting to you rather than just trying to make small talk.

Feel free to get a slogan hoodie or T-shirt for wearing outside of work though - my favourite is "Doesn't play well with others" 

I read that as low sandwich

"INTJ-A"

"low bandwidth"