I would like your opinion please

Hi,

I've finally got to the point where I don't want to mask anymore -  I'm 54 years old. I discovered that I was Autistic just under a year ago. 

I'm so TIRED of having to listen to gossip and people's problems. Of feeling like I have to make conversation, when I don't want to (just to be polite). For having to make eye contact when I don't want to. From feeling so anxious around people. 

I've been looking at hoodies with slogans on today, to try and get my message across. I don't want to appear too rude. 

How about 

a) low social battery                                                         b) nope not today                                                               c) not socially awkward, but would rather be at home with my Guinea pig  (sarcasm)                                           d) one stating I'm autistic 

Or something else. Any ideas ? 

Parents
  • What are the situations where you have to listen to gossip and problems or make conversation?

    If it's at work, explain to your employer that you're autistic and so need a quiet workspace and ask if it's possible to be moved to a quieter area, if not can you use headphones? I would not wear a slogan hoodie to work, it may be frowned upon. Just try to learn to be polite but brief in small talk - If someone asks how your weekend was, just say "good, thanks" and move on, don't ask them about theirs. If they try to gossip, just say "sorry, I have a lot to do - I really must get on"

    If it's in your social life, stop seeing the people that are gossiping. Look for groups you can join where you will share an interest with others, so that you can talk about something interesting to you rather than just trying to make small talk.

    Feel free to get a slogan hoodie or T-shirt for wearing outside of work though - my favourite is "Doesn't play well with others" Grin

  • Hi Pixiefox

    It's a communal laundry room in my building. I've struggled with this since I moved in more than 2 years ago. I think they'd think I was rude if I now started wearing headphones. Or changed my behaviour now. I try and be as polite as I can. But I dread going down there. There are strict usage times, so I can't use it late at night when it would be quiet. And there's isn't a laundrette nearby. I don't drive and have mobility issues. 

    I like your slogan. 

  • Do you have to stay in there while your laundry is being washed? If you know how long it's going to take, can you put the wash on and then go back just before it is finished?

    One thing I had to make myself understand in order to stop masking was that it really does not matter what others think. If you need to stay in the laundry room while your washing is done, I would not only wear headphones but would take a book or tablet with me to read/use while I waited. Your neighbours might not think you're rude - sometimes in the past I thought people were thinking something about me but it turned out I was wrong, they didn't care about what I had done/said at all. But even if they did think you're rude, so what? It's not your responsibility to make them happy. 

    If things stay awkward for you, the only other thing I can suggest is to try to move to another apartment where you can have your own washing machine.

    Good luck Slight smileThumbsup

Reply
  • Do you have to stay in there while your laundry is being washed? If you know how long it's going to take, can you put the wash on and then go back just before it is finished?

    One thing I had to make myself understand in order to stop masking was that it really does not matter what others think. If you need to stay in the laundry room while your washing is done, I would not only wear headphones but would take a book or tablet with me to read/use while I waited. Your neighbours might not think you're rude - sometimes in the past I thought people were thinking something about me but it turned out I was wrong, they didn't care about what I had done/said at all. But even if they did think you're rude, so what? It's not your responsibility to make them happy. 

    If things stay awkward for you, the only other thing I can suggest is to try to move to another apartment where you can have your own washing machine.

    Good luck Slight smileThumbsup

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