When seeking a diagnosis is it essential to have input from someone who knew me in childhood?

I had no evidence from my childhood to show I just spoke about what I knew, I got diagnosed officially almost a month ago. Don’t give up if you wish to seek out a diagnosis then definitely do it andgood luck 

I was diagnosed at the age of 67 and couldn't produce anyone; it was not a problem.

Ben

But don't edit more than a few times, because people get their accounts suspended by the site software, and have to wait for a human moderator to unlock it. Also, don't accidentally report yourself!

Don,

If you click on the 'More' link next to 'Reply', you'll find an 'Edit' button.

Ben

I didn’t. My mum had dementia and my dad was…….well, he didn’t basically care and also didn’t have any understanding of me or my life. He was always working when I was a child and took little interest in his children. The nhs did the assessment without any input from my parents. 

Take5 said:

or else I’m going to pay an actor or actress to pretend to be my parents. 

This made me giggle 

It's preferable, but not essential.

Hi Don

I hope it is not necessary for a family member to take part. I asked my mum a while ago and she said I did do strange things when I was younger but she couldn’t remember. I love my mum dearly but understand she doesn’t want any part of it. Cannot ask my dad as he had an aneurysm and stroke a few years ago and although he is fine I don’t think he would handle it very well. My wife is also out of the question as she prefers to pretend everything is okay but still calls me weird and strange all the time. 
I have my Gp appointment to ask for a referral under the right to choose this week. I have done lots of online tests, kept a journal for over a year, recorded everything I struggle with and got my therapist to do a bit of an evaluation and letter for me. I’m hoping that will be enough or else I’m going to pay an actor or actress to pretend to be my parents. 

I didn’t mean that last bit. 

I say if you need a diagnosis then go for it and like others said try and put some work in to strengthen your case. 

Good luck 

Many healthcare professionals insist on this as being fundamental to a diagnosis, even when it’s not even relevant and in some cases can  even be harmful, especially if some people have other agendas going on in pushing people towards a diagnosis if they have certain other motivations for doing so, which can be difficult to prove legally 

I went down the NHS route, I had a questionnaire from the autism unit and a request for consent for them to contact a relative who knew me as a young child. I returned the questionnaire and explained that I’m older, don’t have anyone and my memory from my childhood is very good. The reply was fine and the consultation could be carried out without any outside input.

I know that this is easier said than done, but if an assessor says that they can't do without someone who knew you from childhood, then maybe (in the UK) you should invoke right to choose and change to someone who can. Their inability to do without is their limitation and doesn't mean that it can't be done.

Whether they want it will depend on their particular assessment protocol. I had the type which is largely based on observations. I felt unable to ask my family but asked my best friend (who has known me since I was late teens) to fill in the observation forms. I also asked my college tutor (who has also known me for nearly 20 years) to write a statement. I also provided quotes from my school reports. The assessors said they wouldn't normally be able to give a diagnosis without family involvement but made the exception because I had provided extra evidence and clearly explained my reasoning for not wanting my family involved. 

I Hope it will not being asked of me if I get to the point of having assessment. I could use only my husband who knows me only 6 years, my parents or siblings - absolutely not. In fact they often tell me that I live in my own world, that I’m do funny because I understand everything or at least most of things literally and how awkward I am how a loner I a as m without friends etc. but my mom was told by my teachers in primary school that I’m most probably autistic and she should have had me assessed. She denied the idea of having a “defective” daughter and ignored my teachers, my problems, my meltdowns etc. so she is the last person who I would have ever asked for involvement in my assessment. My both father and step father were abusive and toxic, so also no. There is one more problem- even if I have found anyone in my family who knew me in my childhood and would be willing to help me, I would have needed a translator because I’m living abroad’s. 
but as far as I know the involvement of a family member is not necessary. Maybe I’m wrong or maybe the procedure varies in different countries. And if I ever get the diagnosis, I will announce it here in the forum and will share my feelings and thoughts around it. But my family will never know about it. They just broke my trust enough. 

I wasn't asked for this, which is just as well as there is no one, I have no siblings and didn't come from a close family so there are no cousins or anything. I think it's ridiculous to ask this from older adults, we may genuinely have no one we know from childhood, our parents may be dead, likewise grandparents. We no longer live in the same places we were born, everybody moves about and people lose touch with eachother. I think this is all part of a myth in a lot of medical thinking, that everybody has loads of relatives and friends who are all close and loving, and no one gets scapegoated, no one moves away, it's all very Enid Blyton and wrong.

The diagnostic classification standards for autism do specifically refer to symptoms being present during childhood:

• Under the DSM-V criteria (which Psychiatry UK, for example, used last year when assessing me): "Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life)." 
  
  
• Under the other major guidelines, ICD-11, essential / required criteria include: "The onset of the disorder occurs during the developmental period, typically in early childhood, but characteristic symptoms may not become fully manifest until later, when social demands exceed limited capacities."

I have limited memories of my childhood. Something that helped me enormously in preparing for my assessment was requesting a copy of my full medical records from my GP. They provided me with photocopies, including everything from my archived paper records (which are transferred between practices if and when we change GPs).

This helped in two ways. Firstly, it prompted various forgotten - and relevant - memories to resurface. Secondly, it provided hard, third-party evidence from various stages of my childhood. To share just one example from mine: there was clear evidence of sensory sensitivities that had proved an issue during physical examinations.

I was worried about this before mine, because I didn't want to ask my brother, who is the only person left. (Not for bad reasons, but because he would have done everything to make me seem as 'normal' as possible.)

Others have said here before that it is not a trial. I think the childhood witnesses make it easier for them, but they can still get by with your recollections. Collect as many of these as possible and keep notes of them when you remember them.

My wife helped, but not because she knew me then, but for more present day information and conversations that she had many years ago with my mum. I don't think that this was essential. It just helped.

Sorry for the "don't not think" typo, I meant either  "don't think" or "do not think" but I can't see a way to edit it.