How do I even know what my mask looks like?

I had my mask on last night, I went to a music/folk group, we sit in a circle and play and sing a song each,  fortunately  for me its in a pub so i can have a few drinks to help me socialize.  I have to force myself to interact and chat with people. they all do it naturally but i have try to think of things to say and pretend to be interested in what their saying, its hard work trying to seem a like normal person and blend in. 

Oh right, yes I have had that a few times, usually when I'm stressed out and am doing something unfamiliar. I think that putting yourself into those postures when you're not in the situation could help you to recognise what you're feeling?

I guess being the literal people we are, that when someone says mask, we think of it as something that covers the face and portrays something for us, only it's not quite like that. I think our face often says something we're not feeling, like a smile being more like a rictus, or we have a blank look as it takes us a while to work out what the social cues were and respond. We respond conciously most of the time, instead of unconciously. I think we're all doing more of a Mr Ben thing and putting on a costume and walking through a door into another time and place, only we often get the wrong costume or forget to take it off and keep wearing it. When I was counselling one of the visualisation things I did, was to mentally go into a wardrobe and take out and put on a set of "clothes" that were my counselling self and then when I got home I'd take them off and put them away again. It helped me not take clients trouble home with me and helped me to be in the required headspace.

Hi Ruby

I have not mastered the art of not caring enough to lose my mask in public but I am trying. I work on my own pretty much every day which I guess means I’m not masking and I’m grateful for that. I worked with someone else today who I know and who I like, we were at a customers house who I know but there has been too much talking (pretty much continuous). I have been yawning literally all day and all the way home. This is how I know if I have been masking. I am so exhausted compared to my usual work days. I do really sympathise with individuals who are employed and have to deal with constant interaction on a daily basis, I think any of you that manage this deserves a medal. 

After fifty years of masking, usually unsuccessfully, this is one subject area I really struggle to break my masks. Basically most of mine have been innately learned

wow

Basically - I don't recognise, and find it difficult to locate, some of my own physical feelings ("how my body feels" from your post) and to a lesser extent the more subtle emotions.

TheCatWoman said:

Whats Interoception?

I hope that Mark won't mind me jumping in here. I found an article for you, which I think serves as a good explainer:

NAS - Interoception and mental wellbeing in autistic people

The short version (from the article) is that: "Interoception is an internal sensory system in which the physical and emotional states of the person are consciously or unconsciously noticed, recognised and responded to."

Whats Interoception?

Following my own diagnosis last year, I'm still working on this too.

This NAS resource lists several examples of masking (including both conscious and unconscious ways in which we might mask), along with suggested strategies for self-management, information about the adverse impacts of masking, and more:  

NAS - Masking

As someone struggling with the same question, that's a great answer. I have problems with Interoception which makes this a lot more difficult, but I'll try to figure this out.

The best way I can think of describing it for me is, how my body feels, if I feel tight and tense in my shoulders, jaw and gut when I'm out and about talking to people, thats me masking, otherwise known as holding it together and not feeling I can be authentically me. When I'm authentically me I'm not as tense, I don't talk as much and I listen more, I do tend to gabble on about pretty much anything when I'm masking and can't hold it together. When I've been authentically me I don't worry about what I've said and what others may think of me, when I've been masking I do worry.

It maybe different for you? Maybe if others tell you how they feel, you can get some kind of gauge for when you're making and how much?