Published on 12, July, 2020
I got diagnosed with autism at the age of 38 at the beginning of this year. And at 39 for ADHD a few days back. I am assuming I have been masking which is why no one has ever even considered the possibility I might be autistic / adhd in my late 30s. And if I have been masking, how do I know when I'm masking and what's real?
The best way I can think of describing it for me is, how my body feels, if I feel tight and tense in my shoulders, jaw and gut when I'm out and about talking to people, thats me masking, otherwise known as holding it together and not feeling I can be authentically me. When I'm authentically me I'm not as tense, I don't talk as much and I listen more, I do tend to gabble on about pretty much anything when I'm masking and can't hold it together. When I've been authentically me I don't worry about what I've said and what others may think of me, when I've been masking I do worry.
It maybe different for you? Maybe if others tell you how they feel, you can get some kind of gauge for when you're making and how much?
As someone struggling with the same question, that's a great answer. I have problems with Interoception which makes this a lot more difficult, but I'll try to figure this out.
Whats Interoception?
Basically - I don't recognise, and find it difficult to locate, some of my own physical feelings ("how my body feels" from your post) and to a lesser extent the more subtle emotions.
TheCatWoman said:Whats Interoception?
I hope that Mark won't mind me jumping in here. I found an article for you, which I think serves as a good explainer:
NAS - Interoception and mental wellbeing in autistic people
The short version (from the article) is that: "Interoception is an internal sensory system in which the physical and emotional states of the person are consciously or unconsciously noticed, recognised and responded to."