I’m so unhappy in my job

I get you. I am in a similar situation although slightly different. My manager will not accommodate my needs and is using this as an excuse to get rid of me. I am on my 4th 3month 'placement'. Unions and HR are arguing over what I am entitled to via redeployment.

I have been in my field for over 30 years, what do I do now? The other roles within my organisation I know nothing about and I am terrified of what will I do.

My imposter syndrome is going full speed, I struggle to sleep and feel on the edge of another burnout. I am in my fifties and feel that I do not have the energy to retrain. I am so tired of everything and all I do is constantly worry. How much more I can take I'm not sure. 

Hi Ed.Ward

I know that it took me at least a year to recover after being burned out, so I would say to give yourself more time.

It is difficult deciding what to do about work when feeling unhappy and unworthy in the job. What I would say is to not walk away. I resigned from a job and though it seemed the best choice at the time, looking back, I just should have taken some sick leave.

You might have seen on my other comments to other threads that I have used the Access to Work Scheme via the DWP. This has really helped me. Here is a link about it.

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work/eligibility

All the best.

I'm completely relating to you here. I had the same 4 years ago. Leading up to the dreaded burnout I would struggle to get motivated in a morning. As days went on and on I masked my feelings, emotions and anxiety. Until I hit rock bottom and I just had to quit. Yes there was the worry about money and having to support my family but I knew I had to do something. Luckily my partner worked so we managed, just. But it took me many many months of finding myself again, completely re evaluating my life, working out what was important and what wasn't. Step back, breathe and take time to re assess or you'll just keep spiraling. My thoughts are with you. 

Hope you are able to find a solution. To be honest, it takes as least twice as long as it feels to recover from burnout, and if one keeps pushing, one can get burnout after burnout as I have done, and each one hits harder than the one before! The issue is that people can underestimate how hard hitting burnouts can be and how long it takes to recover. As I had no help and they kept repeating (No ones fault as I could not go to a doctor or samaritans or anyone to get help as I could not explain to anyone in words what I was going through). 

Advice...

The path I chose took me into poverty but the only route I had open to me was to hand in my notice and go without an income for a year before I could get another job when I eas ready. (I wasn't allowed to sign on for the first six months as I left job of my own accord... (Even though technically I had no choice due to mental issues associated with burnout)... And the next six months I wasnt allowed to sign on because I was not fit to work... Was told to see doctor, but doctor would not issue sick note without a reason and I could never explain as I disn't know what was wrong with me... Back then it was only on the last and most severe burnout (More like a breakdown) that I knew about autism and the term "Burnout". Felt something snap within me and at one point, forgot how to walk and had to teach myself again there and then! 

BUT, fortunately in the last burnout I got help. Saw the autism team on an open day as I was already on the long waiting list to be assessed. They were able to ask the right questions which opened up my ability to talk, and they contacted my doctor who gave me a sick note. Was still another month and a half to get the help to actually claim universal credit as I can't do online forms! Was about to chuck the sicknote out of frustration now it has all gone online! (A lady who used to work for Mind did the online part for me, so I was able to get which has now gone up to £380 a month in benefits to survive. (I can't work at the moment, as daily I hit internal stress... Today almost had a major shutdown as Mum can't walk and I can only cope with small shops... Means I don't know what to do in future as to walk from a carpark to a shop while half shutdown, and then try and go in to buy stuff is getting impossible!)).

But anyway!  How to improve...!  The only remedy I have comes across is time away from the work. 

Sometimes a change helps. I went from job to job throughout the first 15+ years of my working life as I hit burnout (Without knowing it was), would form cracks in my ability to mask, became mentally "Fragile", so I made excuses, handed in my notice, took a month or two off before even trying to find work again and then looked for another job and the cycle repeated again!

But anyway...!  The best approach is to take a long term break. 

Who’s going to want me now.

You have 18 years of prior work experience. Do you have any idea as to how rare that is among people with autism? I'm in the United States. Employment rates over here for people with autism hover at 22% which is HALF the rate of other people with disabilities. 

Since the burnout I have been unable to mask

Yeah, I get that. I was a teacher for 32 years. I got to the point where I just couldn't put up with bad student behavior anymore. For me this was professional burnout, not autistic burnout. I retain the ability to mask but have gotten to the point where I'd rather be semi-retired and self-employed (by writing children's books) instead of having a job where I have to interact with multiple people on a daily basis. 

I have no idea where to even start looking for another job. 

Are you looking for the same type of job but with a different employer or for a different job entirely. In the States, I've liked using Indeed.com. Indeed has a UK version. Click here.