Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't really compare myself to others as much as I used to, but this isn't about that.
I'm 27. I've regressed as I've gotten older, I've become more anxious and find it extremely difficult to ask for things when I *need* them, which subsequently gets me into avoidable sticky situations.
I feel like I was expected to know what I wanted to do while I was at school (and I'm probably not alone in that) and I just didn't. I didn't go to university so upon turning 18, I felt completely lost. It was as though the world told me, "you're on your own now, and you're not allowed to ask for help because being an adult means being independent etc". Me, an autistic person, thinking literally? Surely not...
I feel like there's lots of opportunities I missed out on. Whether it be me not asking for help, not networking more, not grabbing things because I was afraid etc.
I feel like I'm getting on a bit now, and that I've missed my chance. I don't feel you get many opportunities now, and it feels like I'm going to be playing catch-up for the rest of my life.
This is a bit more vent-y than I was going for but it's something I've recently struggled with.
I'm turning 32 in a few weeks, and I'm in the same position you're in. My folks helped me through a couple of years of college and then it was up to me to figure things out from there. I'm only now more than a decade later starting to wrap my head around what I need to do.
I've been fortunate (I guess) to score high enough with benefits to be able to live unemployed. But it's no long term strategy. Since I've never worked since college, I need to do something to plump up a CV before I can even consider working. So I'm looking into local volunteer organisations to pick up some skills and earn references. Hopefully with enough of that I'll be able to look into something like an apprenticeship and work my way up from there. My hope is something in a writing field, like literature.
One other thing I'm doing is spending an hour each day learning German, as it's also very appealing on a CV. There are other languages that look good too, but since I'm interested in some German music and literature, there's an extra personal investment.
You are the first step to seeing your needs fulfilled. You can't wait for someone to take the initiative for you. I wish I'd had guidance earlier in life, but instead I've got a lot of wasted time to make up for. If there's one upside to this, it's that no one helping me means I don't have to share the satisfaction of succeeding with anyone. That's, of course, not disregarding some lovely people I've met here who have been kind to me.