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I don't belong here

DifferentNotDefective
2 days ago

How do you cope in a world where you don't belong because how your brain works isolates you from a normal life and people? A brain that makes every day so much harder just to do standard activities, even simple but fundamental things like maintaining a conversation? It's such a lonely, heart-breaking life. Every day, surrounded by people who have got on with their lives... have friends, found a partner, living together, bought a house, got married, had kids, go on holidays... I have none of that. My brain is such a barrier to everything. And there's no cure.

  • 2 days ago
    DifferentNotDefective said:
    A brain that makes every day so much harder just to do standard activities, even simple but fundamental things like maintaining a conversation?

    What is your brain good at then?

    Mine is good at planning, learning and adapting so I worked out what the shortfalls were that stopped me being able to have convesations, relationships etc and found ways to learn a lot more about them, especially the social dynamics and rules around them.

    Next I studied how to mask and script to be able to apply these and went out and got stuck in - made mistakes, learned from them and refined my techniques and now can pretty much pass as neuriotypical when I want to.

    DifferentNotDefective said:
    My brain is such a barrier to everything

    It is also the means to overcoming its limitations - concious decisions, discipline and willpower are the means of doing this.

    Having said that, I found acting neurotypical didn't make me any happier. It does get some benefits (especially of the sexual kind) but I find being authentic makes me much happier.

    Understanding and accepting yourself and living for that is what is the best from my perspective.

  • 2 days ago

    Maybe you just need to grieve the life you never had. You sound angry about what you feel you missed out on. That’s fair enough. You probably are angry. Maybe you just need to let it go. You maybe just think you missed out on a lot but never missed out on as much as you think. This is because you probably have a low self esteem. This could be your core issue. Low confidence making you punish yourself all the time and compare yourself to others. Work on your confidence.

  • 2 days ago

    Maybe spend less time around people?  Or stop comparing yourself to others?

  • 2 days ago

    I don't have an answer for your very good question.

    I don't belong here either and, in addition, I'm a weirdo.

    I like your chosen name: I'm DAD - Different and defective.