Published on 12, July, 2020
It is something I've always struggled with throughout my life. The shame, the embarrassment, the fear of someone screaming at me as to go "do it yourself" even though it's extremely rare that's happened.
It's stinging at the moment because I'm looking for a job but I've exhausted all avenues (applying, emailing companies, reaching out to professional contacts) apart from asking my parents if they can help. It's not so much of a pride thing as a "me not being sure if they'll take me seriously" thing, even though I have an idea of what I'd like to do.
Even asking friends for support can be difficult because I don't know how they'll respond, and I'm not always best at preparing for the possibility that they will respond badly. Or even if they don't.
Imposter syndrome is rife. The feeling that you do not want to stick your head above the trench, even if you know you are right, because you know you cannot put into words what you really mean. I have the intelligence but have struggled for years because of this and my mask was to stay silent. Its a very hard habit to break.