Very-late-diagnosis

Well, I'm 62 and not diagnosed formally yet. I'm on a waiting list so it may be 3 more years, assuming I live that long! Like you, it was a new therapist who suggested quite strongly that I might be autistic. I have suffered from depression on and off nearly all my adult life (and probably before). I ascribed this, and the traits which I'm now inclined to put down to autism, to emotional trauma that I suffered in my teens. However, my therapist ruled out complex PTSD and recognised that trauma isn't at the root of everything. Autism really has turned out to be the missing piece that completes the picture. Suddenly (it has been comparatively sudden) things make so much more sense. Yes, life is still difficult, but I'm just beginning to be able to accept that this is because I am different, rather than defective in some way. I spent so much of my life feeling "broken". I think this is slowly changing now and, as a result, the depression doesn't seem to have quite the same hold as it did.

I wish I'd known a lot earlier! But happy(ish) to have at least some relief now from what has been torture at times.

Good luck! There are good people here, and I'm sure you'll find some support.

Hi Clarissa I received my official diagnosis today and I’m 34 years old, I’m finding it validating and I’m going through a range of emotions 

Hi Clarissa I  am 57 and was diagnosed 2018.

There are quite a few of us on here. Females and late diagnosed. 

Welcome. 

Wow 71! Are there things in your life which have made you retrospectively think (now that you know about autism) that it explains a lot?

I am sure my aunt (I think she's 80 now) has undiagnosed autism. Not that I want to armchair diagnose people, but it's only since being diagnosed myself that I recognise so many of my traits in her (it's uncanny). I don't know if a diagnosis would have ever helped her, but I guess there wasn't any support anyway when she was younger.

In a lot of ways she gives me hope for the future because even if she had undiagnosed autism, she made a life for herself and got on with things.

Yes, that’s my goal, to stop caring what others think. It’s going to take time though

That is awful, what you’ve had to go through. I’m glad you persevered until you got the assessment you needed. Many people would have given up in despair, so well done..I think a lot of us have lived with low self-esteem and shame for years and years, always comparing ourselves to others and feeling useless.. Diagnosis can change that I think, but I’m sure it takes a while to change the habit of a lifetime

Hi Clarissa,

I didn't want to self diagnose. I have serious self-esteem issues. I am also a very slow learner and find it difficult to articulate my thoughts, both to myself and others. History suggests I am easy to ignore.

Over the past five years I discussed the possibility of being on the spectrum with a psychiatrist, three psychologists, two SA counsellors and a mental health support worker and my GP. Each of them said that I wasn't on the spectrum. I believed them.

I knew something was wrong and I managed to get an assessment via a crisis service.

Because of my co-morbid conditions I don't have the energy to take in the full effects of the diagnosis. Every day I am in survival mode.

Nice to meet you too.

I still often get a bit down about my struggles with emotional control and anxiety over certain situations. But I do understand myself a lot better now, and I stopped caring what other people think of me, and have realised I don't need.to try to be the same as others - it's ok to just be me. 

Hi Pixiefox, nice to meet you. I hope the years since your self-diagnosis have been good ones, and that you feel it was beneficial for you. I’m hoping the same for me

Hi Clarissa and welcome. I'm in my early sixties, and self diagnosed in my fifties.

Hope you enjoy chatting with us.

Hi Nemo. 65 is quite late enough! Was it the NHS you were fighting with to get assessed? I’m afraid I couldn’t wait, so went privately. I went with the cheapest I could find, which could have been a big mistake, but luckily they’re quite good

Yes I think I may have to go through all those things. I’m in cloud cuckoo land at the moment. Imposter syndrome in particular!

Yes! I have finally plucked up the courage to ask him how he comes to know and understand so much about it. I thought he might possibly be autistic himself, as he told me up front he was dyslexic. Hs not autistic but both his children are. He is obviously a very committed father. So it was completely serendipitous for me - his website says nothing about autism, I just liked the sound of him

i can give details if anyone wants. He is in N Ireland but will work on Zoom

I'm very glad you found a therapist who could see such an important part of you so quickly. Sounds very powerful.

It is nice to finally know that one's brain type is just different. Diagnosed or not, if it answers life-long questions then it's wonderful. As someone a few months post-diagnosis, prepare to go through some grief stages like anger, denial etc. (or even imposter syndrome "am I autistic enough?"). If you stay around on here you will get validation and understanding. Be sure to check out other threads too like "3 Good Things". I think that there are a few older women experiences that have been bumped up to the first or second page, so check those out too.

Hi Clarissa,

Welcome!

I was diagnosed earlier this year at the age of 65. I had to fight to get a diagnosis over many years. I have many co-morbid conditions with which I'm struggling.

Thankyou. I don’t know about brave. I was just lucky enough this summer to start sessions with a new therapist for my depression - after only two sessions with me he broached the topic of autism. No one had ever seen it in me before, or at least not told me. I was overcome with excitement. Could wait to have it confirmed. It takes the shame away from having problems all my life. So no, not brave , just lucky

Thankyou Mark

Hi Clarissa,

Welcome! I was diagnosed this year in my 50s. There are older women on here.

Hi Clarissa, I was diagnosed at 21 (three years ago) but wanted to welcome you to the online community. It's really wonderful to have someone brave, open, and curious enough to undertake this journey so late. I hope you find what you need here, if you choose to stay.