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Living in an imperfect World

GPK26
9 days ago

Like many autistic individuals, I have a very sharp eye for detail and often notice errors that others may miss.
Recently, someone in HR gave me the "I think it's a superpower" when I raised a concern about something HR related that had errors in it.

What I am finding is that my attention to detail can become all consuming and overwhelming. If an "i" isn't dotted or a "t" isn't crossed, I notice it and this leads me to question the competence and care of the person responsible. My colleagues often advise me not to get bogged down by the details and to focus on the bigger picture instead. One colleague asked if the error I pointed out really mattered and if it affected me. My response was a resounding “Yes.” It does affect my autistic mind, which seeks perfection and is highly sensitive to mistakes. I get that his NT mind would struggle to comprehend the how our ND brains and the challenges that we face.

What I would like to ask my fellow NAS members is

  • Do you struggle in the same way as I describe?
  • Do you find yourself getting consumed to the point of utter desperation which at times can lead to dark thoughts?
  • Do you have coping mechanisms to help deal with such an imperfect World?

I am feeling quite desperate as this is becoming a daily occurrence which I don't know if I have the energy to deal with.
It's not just a work thing, it seems like so many things are not thought through, not executed particularly well, or are just plain broken.

  • 8 days ago

    I don't struggle in the same way you describe. But in more general terms I do struggle with living in an imperfect world.  Perfection means different things to different people though.  Your perfection might be somebody else's hell.

    Mellowjian

  • 9 days ago

    I really struggle with this. I am sorry you struggle too, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone. One of the reasons I don’t work is because of this issue. On my first day once at a new job the fire exit was blocked with stacks of magazines and I felt I couldn’t report it on day one as I didn’t want to be a nuisance, but felt conflicted as it wasn’t safe so I left that day. 

  • 9 days ago

    You are not alone in spotting things that are out of place that other seem oblivious to. I developed a sort of grading system, if it's something that is going to cost money or risk injury then it gets reported immediately. The further down the scale you get I either fix it myself or causally mention it to someone further up the food chain to make it their problem. I do dwell on issues and will review and revisit them if it hasn't been corrected.

    You do need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If it's something important then you are right to mention, if it's a case of bad punctuation in a mundane email, I would let it slide. We all make mistakes, it's a fact of life and a slip or a finger on a keyboard generally won't end the world.

    I think like many autistic people we have a sense of right and wrong that can be difficult to deviate from.

    I have dysgraphia which to me affects my ability to write and spell correctly and it pains me greatly when people point out my "failings".