Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m most probably having more of a vent than asking advice. Im always being accused of sounding grumpy or being ’short’ with people, I’m not, my voice is quite deep and can be very monotone.
I know internally that I’m not answering abruptly, I admit I can get tired quite quickly when in conversation, having to repeat a sentence when misheard can cause me to literally runout of words. It’s then thought that I’m being more awkward. I’m putting more energy into trying to smile and undulate my voice, if that’s the correct word?
Im thinking it must run along the same lines as Martins post on looking miserable when not.
Is this something anyone else has encountered or am I being weirder than normal?
I think this is far from unusual Roy. I remember when I was a teenager I must have looked miserable when I was often fine - because men/boys (who I didn’t know) would sometimes say “cheer up love “ to me - and I was always very disconcerted by this as I felt I must appear different to people on the outside to how I felt on the inside. Ultimately - whilst it’s a nice thing to smile and be cheerful - we do have every right to just be ourselves and not feel we have to present a ‘face’ to others just for their benefit, or to feel we are doing ‘the right thing’. We can’t control other people’s perception of us - they have got their own perceptions (and misperceptions!) - so their view of us is unlikely to be accurate in any case. So my overall feeling is: we should be ourselves, and be true to ourselves. There’s a phrase: ‘Be your beautiful self’ - and I think that’s a very good thing to keep in mind. And to tell ourselves that we are ‘enough’ - just as we are. If people don’t like that then ultimately it’s probably more to do with them and their psychology - and nothing really to do with you. I remember Anthony Hopkins saying : “what other people think of me is none of my business’ - it’s a good thing to remember!