Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey,
first of all I am not a native english speaker so there will be mistakes, for sure. I am sorry. I came across a thought, especially lately, due to some reflecting about myself which is kinda related to a happening I had with a good friend, that is an autist.
As far as I can think back I always was overly empathic. I know (now) there are people with high functioning autism that are hyperempathic so it is not a knock out criteria, so that makes me think a lot.
I grew up in not ideal conditions. My parents didnt treat me well. When I for example fell with my skateboard due to driving in a working area I got a slap in my face for being stupid. I got chased in my room for not cleaning up and being hit for it (never seriously). When I wanted to clear things out I got kicked out of the room and screamed at. I went to a psychologist, as kid, and wanted help, but they didnt believe me. I wanted away from "home". There were always power fights with my parents thats what made me now what one would call a "fighter" personality. I am not giving up on things, I fight for them as I always had to. I learned how to deal with distress and all that came with it. I never had a depression or any mental problem, but there are things that are clearly off and I wonder if its due to the happenings or due to being a high functioning autist. I will write a few things down, in bullet points, so its easier to read them.
I have difficulties solving easy "puzzles/tasks" but I am very good with difficult ones (a few people pointed that out with me, that know me for a long long time that I am not able to see a simple solution, but can deal perfectly fine with difficult things may it be calculations or solutions to problems)
I have issues to coordinate my body properly (example moving hands and feet at the same time in a certain pattern, doesnt work at all), when I am dancing it looks more like "edgy" movements
I am extreme in some things, mostly related to people. When I was a kid and teeny and even now I prefer, except for my boyfriend, one or two friends I can be "close" to and I like to spend every day with them. I have been told, when I was like 13-14 that my presence is too overwhelming and I take too much of the peoples "space" as I want to be close with them. I share anything with my friends and would do almost everything for them.
I like numbers, I enjoy calculating and dealing with numbers. Also very much into medical topics, could read all day about different things.
When I type or phone with a person I do not know very well and get told sad things I am extremely empathic and want to help asap! If I would meet a person I barely know and that person would tell me these things while standing infront of me, Id not feel anything. Id feel awkward. Id want to keep much distance to the person and would likely, if the person came closer, feel an ick. My brain looks then for some weird things, like oh that person has a weird hair style I cant hug the person. Just something really crazy that is super stupid in my eyes, I know it myself. When in text the same person would write me id feel so much like hugging the person and being close to that person. Its funny how different it is. But this only applies to people I do not know well.
I have 0 issues holding eye contact (I am not sure this is a knock out criteria as its about the sum of things)
When I was a teeny and I had feelings for a guy I was too shy to say it, he liked me too. So I wrote a card and we wanted to be together, but I "ran away" from his contact attempts afterwards as I thought he might give me an ick or it feels awkward I am not sure what i felt there. Brain is tricky thinking so long back. My first real boyfriend, I didnt know very well, we were together two weeks and he broke up with me as I didnt want to be close to him much, but he really had a bad breath I couldnt deal with and I was young. After noticing I had some issues with closeness I tried to work on I met a guy and my distance went to the opposite, I wanted to be very very close, sadly he had a thing with another girl going. Roughly three years later I met another guy and we were together for three years. He was bipolar, which came out later, and I couldnt be with him anymore. He did very scary things to me. After that I got to know a guy that wanted to be with me but was in a relationship and just trolled me. Then I got to know my current boyfriend (roughly 12-13 years ago). We are a couple for about 11 years. Nothing negative to say about him, he is a very nice person.
I am bad with compliments (giving and receiving). They sound like "for a man you sing quite well" xD
I was early very mature and never found interest in things people of my age did
I dislike smalltalk
I like to plan and have for every possible incoming problem (like if a war would hit my country or I couldnt do my work anymore and so on...) a solution ready, that gives me peace
I dont connect with most people due to feeling like being different. Its all way too superficial to me. I dont care how one looks or what one earns or has or whatever, but these are main topics of discussion here. I want to talk about "real" things. Things that matter in life, like emotions or thoughts.
I am very sensitive with sounds.
I am "too" honest. I will always try my best to be honest with people, even if they dont like it. I dont like dishonestly. I am a bit blunt and can be a little vulgar.
My facial expression is all over the place. I cant seem to look angry or annoyed or anyhow. All I get out of me is a smile with nuances of differences people can interpret in the correct way if they know me. I even smiled at a funeral -_- I felt like it was an awkward situation and that is what I got out of it, a smile I cant control at all.
Id be very happy if you could write down your thoughts to this. I know here likely are no medical experts, but opinions would be highly appreciated! Am I just "weird" due to my past (which of course would be logical and fitting) or am I more on the high functioning autism? Thanks!
Hi and welcome to the community!
In my opinion, many of your traits could be consistent with autism, but a diagnostic assessment obviously covers a lot more ground than your list - and other potential explanations also need to be considered (by medical professionals, rather than us here).
In order to get a better idea of whether you are autistic, I recommend completing either or both of the AQ-10 and AQ-50 tests. They're available on the website linked below in a format where you can complete them online and see your results. The pages also include explanations and discussion of the scoring criteria:
AQ-10
AQ-50
Just a quick word on terminology: "high functioning" autism has only ever been an informal term, never an official diagnostic one. The use of high / low functioning terms is now also considered inappropriate by many in the autistic community.
Under both of the major classification systems, you would instead be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Under DSM-5, this would also include the specifier Level 1, which means that you have support needs that are lower than either Level 2 or 3.
For more information and advice about the pre-diagnosis stage and assessment process, you might find the articles here helpful:
Autism diagnosis
Thank you, Bunny. The National Autistic Society's guidance on how to talk and write about autism says:
'Functioning and severity labels are inaccurate and considered offensive; they fail to capture how a person's needs may vary (they may excel at certain things while finding others very challenging) and fluctuate (according to the situation), and because they locate all challenges innately within the person’s ability rather than due to a societal or situational failure to meet the person's access needs.'
So, please can we stop using 'low functioning' and 'high functioning' labels? Paige Layle makes an excellent point in one of her YouTube videos about autism not being a dichotomy.
The authoritarianism behind the policing of what phrases should or shouldn't be used doesn't fit well at all with my socially liberal mindset.
'The problem isn't with use of the word 'functioning' but in the lumping together of several abilities in order to arrive at a singular description called 'high/ low medium' functioning'.'
Exactly. The 'lumping together' washes over struggles and strengths that autistic people have across the spectrum.
The problem isn't with use of the word 'functioning' but in the lumping together of several abilities in order to arrive at a singular description called 'high/ low medium' functioning' . I strongly believe that instead there should be separate areas each providing an idea of how that person functions within in that area. Speaking personally. Money management (good) Housework(poor) Cooking(average) Socialising (poor) Cognitive abilities(very good) Mobility/transportation skills(poor) hygiene(average) occupationally (very poor)In the mid 1970s I struggled unsuccessfully to balance wanting to please my parents, by being the first in my family to get university, with the stark reality that I lacked the necessary independent living skills to cope at university. Back then there wasn't the help and support that's available now . Months of intense anxiety led to my becoming severely mentally ill.I never got the help and support when it came to independent living skills ,or for the executive functioning difficulties that adversely affected those living skills. I was seen as being a bad patient, someone with a major character defect. It wasn't till I was 60, and thanks to my daughter's intervention , that those myths about me having a major character defect were smashed to smithereens. It was finally accepted that I had genuine difficulties. Far too late to fix the damage, but for the last nearly 7 years I've been treated well by mental health professionals . A very welcome contrast to over 40 years of being treated like crap
Autistic Not Alien said:You've lost me there
You've lost me there. If only you were in the room I'm in now so I could assess what you're trying to say through non-verbal cues.
Autistic Not Alien said:Like many autistic people, I struggle to interpret non verbal communication, so I put a lot of faith in words and definitions
And Tom Cruise put a lot of faith in L Ron Hubbard, dont make it true and or right and or is am sensible