Not Using My Name

I agree re the Autism magnifying but is definately deliberate as they use each others names when I hear them chatting and one obnoxious neighbour even said about me to my Sister I do not exist to him!

the doctor thing is so true they should probably just give miners for calling so number 25 your turn.I agree about personalisation  when you get it in the post unsolicited do they think we are stupid and they know us!

My point about names is that neighbours deliberately de personalise me by using 3rd person and not saying hello and my name after.I have started deliberately getting their names wrong is that silly or good ?

No you are not unique in my view you have the same issues as me from a different angle.Funnily enough I would love a nickname from my Dad but he occasionally formally uses my full christian name or nothing.I would love him to call me son he never has thanks for your reply it has got me thinking as well

How strange, I was literally just thinking about this today except my experience is the opposite.  I really don't like anyone calling me by my name, I prefer "love", "dear", "Missus", "Ma'am", "Chuck", "Hen", "Pet" or any other colloquialism.  I just feel an internal jolt when someone says my name and always have.  It's especially intense in medical settings, similar to what Sporadic Sparkly mentioned below.  I don't call my daughter by her name much either, it's more pet names to show her I love her.  It's refreshing to see someone feels the opposite to me which has now made me consider why I dislike it so much...... The caveat here is that when a partner says my name it intensifies my feelings for them.  What can I say? I'm unique :-)

I sometimes jokingly say that as long as it's not something offensive, I have no objection to what people call me.

When I was young, I didn't particularly like my first name and surname and felt uncomfortable when people said it. However, this changed after I became an adult.

Admittedly, there are certain occasions when I do dislike hearing my name being said. An example of this is when I am in the waiting room at my surgery. When the GPs are ready to see their next patient, the patient's name will not only be displayed on a wall-mounted screen for all to see, but broadcast over a speaker system... "[Name of patient] to room 5 please". I'm just not comfortable with the other people in the waiting room knowing my name, and then looking at me as I make my way to the GPs room. It's unwelcome attention.

During the run up to the General Election, I have not welcomed the various political parties using my name on the stuff they have been sending me in the post. As I have not consented to them using my name, I see it as an invasion of my privacy. With any other kind of post (formal and informal), I have no objection.

As for my neighbours (the ones I know and speak to), they all call me by my first name, or a shortened version of it. What they call me when I'm out of earshot is another matter entirely. 

Cat Loving Man said:

Second issue with business relationship they use my Christian name which I like and have said to do so.Then when there is a problem they de personalise by going back to calling me MR.

Using Mr is a more formal way of interaction in business, typically one where they are being more deferential. Using your christian name is an informal way so I would expect this to be used when you are deeper into a conversation with someone or you already know them.

As someone who worked in customer service for decades I think this is pretty normal.

Most workers get no training in style of communication (the last I had was back in 1991) but rather on the content.

Cat Loving Man said:

I also personally find it patronising the other extreme when my Christian name is used constantly in a conversation.

I don't find this - it is a more personal if fairly informal way of making a more personal connection in the conversation. Personally I don't do it as I have a terrible memory for names but I find it nice when someone does this.

It can be weaponised of course, as can most forms of communication, but that does not diminish its usefulness in conversations.

Personally I think you are massively overthinking this and that probably comes from the autism trait where you expect rules to be followed. Conversational style has a huge level of variance even in the same country so I would say embrace the difference, accept people may have different personal styles and don't expect everyone to follow the same regimented style you want.

In the scheme of things, is it worth stressing about, even in the slightest? Save that energy for the important stuff.