Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
Anyone else have this problem? Or where your partner has this issue with you? I'm in my first serious relationship with a Polish girl, and therefore it's a long distance relationship. I've been to stay at her's twice now. She can be a bit 'needy' and craves touches and physical interaction. And going so far as wanting me to be jealous if someone else starts talking to her. Being 37 now (she's 29) and being diagnosed with autism back in 2017, I find all that are bit perplexing and childish? I'm not one for being jealous. And consider myself more of a realist. I know there's no danger of her being 'stolen' by anyone else. There's a guy who keeps professing his love for her and sends her messages every month or two. He's a bit obsessive. But he lives all the way in Australia and doesn't know where she lives anyway. And therefore, I'm not too concerned. It sounds like the guy needs to get over it and get some help, but I certainly don't feel jealous.
I also feel like I have more of a stronger attachment to my hobbies/passions and personal possessions than I do my girlfriend, which sounds bad. I also find it difficult to get attached to people now. In part because of being hurt and let down so often. Therefore find it difficult to be 'lovey-dovey'. It's just not me. And I show my love and affection in other ways, such as buying gifts etc. We kiss and cuddle, so that's never a problem either. I just feel as though I'm emotionally blind. I don't have those feelings of 'love' like I did once before. Last time was when I was 16. And that was to the point of being lovesick.
Anyone else have the same problem in their relationship?
Thanks
I've spoken to her about the 'neediness'. And my concern that I might not be able to provide her with the attention she craves. It has led to a bit of a dispute this evening. I'm a bit stuck at the moment. She believes the problem is on my side and that she didn't have any issues. Though I did ask if the attention I've given has been enough. She's said it's been 'fine' though does feel I'm not as invested in the relationship as she is. And I agree with her. Again, with it being long distance, it's tricky anyway. But I'm just not invested in others. And I have been called self-centred by someone in the past. I'm so used to being on my own, being in my own company, and doing my own thing. But I think I would be sad if things ended. There have been plenty of positive aspects from being in this relationship. I certainly don't feel lonely anymore. Though she still does as she doesn't like her own company.